Chapter 1: Bitter Secrets Under the Same Roof

I've secretly liked the older brother next door for years, but he and my elder sister are in love with each other.

Sometimes I wonder if my own heart dey even get space for this family.

Sometimes, when NEPA light cuts off at night and the house sinks into darkness, I lie awake thinking about Seyi. The ceiling fan slow, then stop. Mosquitoes begin their night duty, buzzing close to my ear. My feelings for him have been a silent thing, tucked in the shadowy corners of my heart, buried deep beneath the noise of family and compound life. I never told anybody, not even my closest friend. It's the sort of thing a quiet girl like me carries alone, pressed between pages of my diary, as if I write am with ogbono—slippery, no one fit catch.

The night the university entrance exam results came out, I accidentally saw them kissing secretly on the rooftop.

My hand shake so much, I nearly drop my phone. My leg weak, I fit swear say ground dey move.

That summer night was hot and suffocating. I just wandered around, feeling lost and heartbroken.

The air was heavy, mosquitoes buzzing, my chest feeling like someone put garri inside and poured hot water on top. Each step I took felt like I was dragging my legs through thick mud, my mind replaying what I had seen, like a Nollywood film on repeat. I kept asking myself why my heart was paining me like this—if love supposed to taste like bitterleaf soup.

Later, when we met again in university, Seyi had a cigarette between his lips and asked me, "Amaka, you like me?"

His voice sounded rougher now, more grown. I saw a glint in his eyes, a playful challenge, as if he knew what I was hiding inside me.

I pretended not to understand and denied it.

I forced a laugh, shrugged, and looked away, my cheeks burning. I tried to act like all those feelings didn't mean anything, as if my heart had not once beat fastest for him.

He just smiled lazily and said, "Then next time, abeg, no dey look me with that kind eyes."

He let out a small laugh, half-teasing, half-serious. His voice lingered in my ears even after he walked away, the smoke of his cigarette curling in the air like a secret I couldn't chase away. My heart thumped as I replayed the moment, wondering if maybe he had always known.