Chapter 6: The Slap That Changed Everything

Yes.

I talk am for myself, because sometimes, if nobody dey believe you, you go believe yourself first.

I be house girl, no papa, no mama.

But me sef wan be princess.

Every night, as I lay down for foam, I go imagine say I dey wear white lace, dey dance for compound, dey laugh with Mama. I go dream say Mr. Nnamdi dey call me, dey lift me up.

I remember when I small, Mr. Nnamdi promise me.

Him voice soft that year, like butter. Na so e go buy gala for me, say: 'Princess, eat.'

That time, mama still dey, Mr. Nnamdi business just start, we three squeeze inside small two-bedroom flat.

Window no dey close well, rain go enter sometimes, but we go dey laugh. Mama go tell story, papa go dey joke.

Mama dey support am, she even move the Christmas money wey Grandpa give me go Mr. Nnamdi account.

She go explain tire, say e go better, say tomorrow dey bright. Sometimes, I go see her dey kneel for night, dey pray for light.

"Me and Chisom no dey spend much. No worry."

Her voice dey like soft song. Even when pepper no dey soup, e go make sure laughter dey table.

Na so Mama dey always calm am.

If Mr. Nnamdi vex, she go pet am with smile, say: 'Tomorrow go better.'

Me sef like copy her.

I go dance for parlor, go hug Mr. Nnamdi leg, dey call am 'Superman.'

"Daddy no dey worry. Chisom small purse, all for Daddy..."

Those days, na happiness full my heart. Na so I dey see myself as small queen for our own kingdom.

Before I finish, Mr. Nnamdi no fit hold himself, he bend down, press him face join our own.

Him beard go scratch my cheek, Mama go laugh, say: 'See your pikin, she dey spoil you.'

After small time, hot tears fall for my chubby cheek.

I dey wonder why e dey cry, but Mama go hug both of us, dey sing lullaby, voice sweet like akara for morning.

E tickle me.

I dey giggle, even though the tears dey wet my face. I no understand, but I dey happy.

Now I know, na Mr. Nnamdi tears be that.

E pain am say he dey try but things still hard. Now, e no dey show that side again.

I remember, before I reach ten, he dey always tell me:

The thing sweet me. Every time e say am, I go dey count my small coins for piggy bank, dey dream say e go soon come true.

"When Daddy make am, get plenty money, I go make Chisom princess, you hear?"

I hear am, I believe am. I even write am for back of my school book: 'Princess Chisom.'

......

See am?

I dey read my old book, dey see the promise for paper, but for life e lost.

He talk am.

My ear remember, even if him mouth forget.

But he no do am.

Since money show, e forget promise.

As I dey think this one—

Na so pain choke me. Na so I wan cry, but I bite my lip. No be cry dey solve matter for this house again.

One sharp, wicked voice enter my ear: "Maid sister, why you never wash my car? You feel say because I be Ifeoma friend, I no important?"

She stand, hand for waist, gum chewing for mouth. Na the one wey dey carry hair like crown, dey look everybody down. The other girls dey laugh for back.

Ifeoma dey go international school.

Her bag na Gucci. Her shoe na Italy. She go talk like oyibo sometimes, dey forget where she come from.

All her friends na rich pikin, dem dey do like say dem pass everybody.

Dem go snap selfie anyhow, dey talk about summer trip for Dubai. Sometimes, dem go look me like say make I vanish.

But.

I no be maid.

I repeat am for my mind, dey remind myself say my blood hot. My mama no born slave.

I bone face look her, wan talk.

I fit feel the anger for my throat, my fingers dey shake, but I no go let dem see my weakness.

But before I fit talk—

Voice sharp, cold, like harmattan breeze blow.

Mr. Nnamdi cold voice land: "Why you never go?"

The thing shock me. Na so everybody hush. My body just cold, e be like dem pour iced water for my back.

Why I no go?

I dey ask myself, but the answer clear. For here, na only order I fit hear.

As I hear am, my heart just heavy like say stone dey on top.

E weigh me down. My legs weak, my chest tight.

How I go forget? For Mr. Nnamdi eye, I just be maid.

I be nobody, just shadow for corridor.

"I dey go now."

I manage talk am, voice low. I pick car key, carry bucket, waka slow, pride swallow me.

Mr. Nnamdi talk say if him no happy, he fit stop my school money and everything.

Every time I dey think of am, my body dey cold. School na the only thing wey dey make me feel human, dey remind me say future still dey.

But.

I promise Mama say I go enter the best university.

Na that promise dey hold my backbone. Every time I dey tired, na that word I remember.

I no fit break my promise to Mama.

Even if wahala tear my skin, I go hold on. Mama face dey my dream every night, dey encourage me.

So.

I fit clean gutter, wash car, sweep compound, as long as school dey sure.

As long as Mr. Nnamdi still dey pay, I go endure.

I no go let him see me cry. Na only for night, when everybody sleep, I go let tears drop small.

I hold my lips, turn waka.

I hold breath, carry myself strong, like soldier.

Next thing.

I hear shoe for ground, slow, soft.

One gentle voice from back:

"Daddy, why you no let Chisom blow candle with me?"

Ifeoma voice small, but e reach everybody ear. All the small girls quiet, dey look am.

"Today na her birthday too."

I look am surprise. For once, she remember. I no sabi if na real, or na just pity.

"She dey expect am too. Yesterday she even wear my evening dress for secret..."

The thing shock everybody. Even me, I no know when my mouth open. She dey expose me for all her friends.

I frown.

Na so everybody face turn my direction, dey hiss.

I turn, wan talk say na lie.

But na so all of dem begin insult me:

One girl with yellow braids hiss, “Wetin! Maid dey wear madam dress.” Another one, voice sharp, add, “Ifeoma, you don disinfect this dress so?”

Dem dey hold nose, dey act like say dem go vomit.

"Na wa o."

"So she be thief."

Dem dey shout, dey point, dey take video small small with phone. My heart dey cut, my hand dey cold.

As I dey hear all those talk, my body dey shake, I just wan push Ifeoma face enter cake.

My brain dey buzz, anger dey boil for belly like hot ogbono. I dey imagine say if I throw am for cake, e go sweet me.

Make she choke.

Even as I dey reason am, my hand dey tight for side, dey squeeze till knuckle pain me.

I no go lie.

Last night, as she dey show her new dress, I really envy her.

She waka like Big Brother Naija finalist, dey show dress, dey turn for mirror, dey laugh me join. Na so envy enter my spirit. But I no fit do pass envy.

But na just envy.

My mind clear, I no be thief. I dey remind myself, dey talk for inside.

I no thief anything...

My mind dey ask if all these people fit believe me. Even if I talk, who go listen?

I no be thief.

I repeat am for my chest, like prayer.

My eyes red with vex, but I no fit move.

Legs dey like log. I dey stand like tree for dry season.

Because.

If I fight back, na more wahala. Na my body go collect.

Mr. Nnamdi see as I wan move, he waka stand for front of Ifeoma.

He stand like soldier, chest out, dey shield her. Him face dey stone, no smile, no mercy.

Him face just hard, dey look me.

Disgust.

The thing burn pass fire. I feel am for my skin.

Hate.

Like say I carry disease.

No send.

No care, no love.

"How you go get pikin like you?"

E loud, e pierce my soul. People dey hush, dey wait for my reaction.

"Apologize."

His voice no dey beg. E dey command, like king for palace.

"Or tomorrow, no come this house again."

Na so him dey threaten me.

Heh.

I look am, voice break small, but I force am out.

"How she go get husband like you?"

Na the pain dey talk through me. I no plan am, but the word just fly come out.

As I talk finish.

The whole house still. People dey look, dey open mouth. Some dey fear say thunder go strike.

Mr. Nnamdi face just dark.

Vein for him neck dey swell. For my life, I never see am vex reach like that before.

Sun dey hot, sweat dey run for back, but cold dey my heart.

"Gbosa—"

Na so my face burn, my ear ring. Slap wey hot like Lagos sun land for my right cheek. For split second, I see stars.

One hot slap land for my face, the sound echo for parlour.

Even the small children hush. Some dey peep through finger, others dey press phone. Na only Ifeoma dey cover face.

All these years wey Mr. Nnamdi dey ignore me, na today be the first time he raise hand for me.

My heart dey beat like drum for village festival—fit burst any moment.

My body dey shake. For my mind, na so old wound open.

Sharp sharp, my right cheek swell like bread.

Pain dey run from my face enter my chest, down my hand. E hot, e bitter.

Anger and pain just full my body.

I no know which one strong pass, but na everything mix for my throat.

But wetin I go do?

I dey ask myself. I dey look everybody, but nobody dey my side.

I be just sixteen.

Na only my shadow stand with me. I dey reason if to cry or to vex.

I get only one papa, for mouth.

For paper, na Mr. Nnamdi be my father, but for heart, na only memory dey carry me.

This papa.

E just dey like landlord wey dey threaten tenant every day.

No send me.

No feeling, no care. Na only work and money dey his face.

Hate me.

I dey wonder how hate fit grow like weed for farm.

Threaten me.

Every little thing, na to chase me go outside. Sometimes I wonder if my head dey correct.

Even slap me.

E sure, he no love me at all.

For that moment, my heart crack. I want shout, I want fight, but I just dey freeze.

That moment.

Ifeoma act confused, like say she no know wetin she do, she rush come dey beg:

She cry small, voice dey tremble. Her friends dey whisper, dey pity her. E be like play.

"Daddy, girls just like fine dress, no be wetin I mean."

I dey look her, my mouth no open. She dey act, but I know say na she start am.

Then wetin you mean?

I dey shout for my mind. But I just hold myself, dey wait make drama finish.

Abeg, leave am.

I wan commot. The slap dey burn, my face dey hot.

I don chop slap already.

E no matter again.

Pain don full body. Shame dey follow.

So.

I stand, face straight, my hand tight. I look my hand, e dey shake. For my mind, I dey hear Mama voice—“No let anybody ride you.” Na so I gather courage, gbosa—my own slap land.

Before anybody fit blink, I move.

"Gbosa, gbosa, gbosa—"

My palm land for her face three times, sharp sharp. Everybody freeze. My voice steady:

I slap Ifeoma three times back. "Na the price for lie against me be this."

People dey gasp, dey shout. Some dey laugh, others dey cry. Na so wahala set—today, everybody go remember my name.