My Wahala Husband No Dey Tire / Chapter 5: The Chairman’s Party
My Wahala Husband No Dey Tire

My Wahala Husband No Dey Tire

Author: Robert Rodriguez III


Chapter 5: The Chairman’s Party

I squat, reason am.

My stomach don dey sound drum, but my mind no fit calm. Hunger and worry dey drag.

But my leg don numb, hunger dey finish me.

For where! If person dey reason, e no dey remember food. But hunger stubborn pass curse. Na so I stand, brush trouser, plan how I go sneak chop.

I decide sneak inside the party, find food chop.

The smell of small chops and jollof rice dey tempt me. Waiters dey waka, dem tray full.

Tonight na Nwachukwu Group annual party. Jide Nwachukwu dey main table, people dey toast am left and right.

All eyes dey on am. Chairman wey still young, fine, money full pocket. Men dey hail, women dey smile anyhow.

He go raise glass sometimes, but no dey drink much.

Like person wey no trust wetin dey for cup. I dey wonder wetin dey run for him mind.

From far, I see him jaw dey tense, face sharp, cold.

If cold fit kill, I for run commot. E resemble statue wey dey ready bite.

See wahala.

The way people dey look am, you go think say e get special power.

I ask, “He don collect back Nwachukwu Group, nobody dey bully am again. Why e still dey vex?”

I dey whisper to system. My own worry don turn prayer point.

System: “How I go know? Go ask am yourself.”

System dey form wise, but I know say e dey dodge question. Na so dem dey do.

“...”

I no go o.

I cross leg, look for small table. Hunger no dey hear story.

But I see one intern waka meet am—fine, shy babe, hold red wine for two hands:

Na so these corper babes dey. Gentle, dey beg with eye.

“Chairman Jide, na me be this year intern, Uncle Bala last born. You remember me? I wan toast you.”

E dey funny, but na Naija way. If you no hustle, who go see you?

Jide Nwachukwu rest chin for hand, pause, then turn to her.

He dey size her up. No smile, no pity.

Eyes deep, no smile: “Uncle Bala?”

You go fear this kind cold.

“Yes, we meet last year for birthday—”

“No remember.” He cut am. “I no dey remember ugly people.”

Kai! I shock. Na real gbas gbos.

“...”

The girl just stand, like say she wan cry.

I pity am small, but na so e be for Naija office life. If you no get thick skin, you go cry tire.

I shake head, sigh: “Three years pass, he still dey wicked with mouth.”

If na me, I go drag his ear small. But see as e sharp.

But—

I dey reason say maybe na the pain wey e carry dey make am this hard.

“Where the heroine? Why e no dey with her?”

I scan the crowd, dey look for fine babe. No sign. My heart dey beat.

System no answer.

Typical. When wahala set, system go mute.

Next thing, the intern, Bala, stumble, red wine pour for Jide Nwachukwu body.

Na wah o! The girl hand just shake, as if village people dey follow am.

Jide Nwachukwu move sharp, cover him left wrist.

I notice am quick. Why e dey hide wrist like that?

People gasp.

People mouth wide. Some dey snap picture. Some dey pray make e no vex scatter place.

Secretary rush carry the girl away, dey beg:

“Chairman Jide, you dey okay? She no mean am. I go help you change.”

Na so dem dey panic. Nobody wan see oga vex for public.

Jide Nwachukwu eye the intern, face dark, but no shout.

Na only God dey save that babe. If na before, he for show her pepper.

He just waka go with secretary.

I dey watch am waka. He no even clean the wine, just dey hold that wrist tight.

Na then the tension for the place come down.

People start to laugh small, dey gossip. But me, my mind dey run.

I reason: “Why he cover him left hand?”

I dey whisper to myself. Na so curiosity dey kill cat.

One person hear, help me explain:

Na old staff, him just bend, dey talk low.

“Oh, na bracelet wey him wife give am—prayer beads. He value am, no dey remove, no gree anybody touch. Last time, secretary pour water for am, he nearly scatter the office.”

Everybody for Naija sabi say some things na sacred. If man dey value prayer beads, better no near am.

I hold cupcake, shock.

For my mind, I dey count back. Wife? Since when? Which kind bead?

“Wife?”

I nearly choke on my cupcake. I rub my neck, dey reason.

But those beads for him wrist...

My eye dey sharp. The beads na exactly the ones I give am that year, after that our first fight for harmattan. I remember I use my first allowance buy am for market.

Na the ones I give am.

The thing shock me. For Naija man to keep bead three years, e mean say the matter choke. My heart dey knock.

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