Chapter 4: Old Flames, New Fires

4

After that, we cross different mountain forests, climb peaks wey no get name, sing, play game, but we no camp for bush again.

Daytime waka dey sweet, people dey share bread, groundnut, dey yab each other, dey snap photo. But as sun dey set, everybody dey serious to reach next village before darkness.

Now, mountain business dey do well—villages dey show everywhere, all dey okay. No need to sleep for wild again.

Sometimes, generator sound go greet us for evening. Life don modern small. But my mind still dey drift go that first night.

I no know why, but I dey sensitive about where we dey stay; anytime I hear which village we go sleep, I dey feel one kind empty for my mind.

Maybe na guilt, maybe na longing. As I dey carry my bag, I dey count days, dey wait for this journey to end, but my body dey betray me.

Apart from the time I hear her name—Morayo—when we dey check in, nothing join us again.

I repeat her name for my mind—Morayo—like say na secret password. But after that, silence.

Four days later, we reach the last stop for our trip—one small town for old resistance area.

The town get old stories; people dey yarn how their forefathers fight colonialists. Even breeze for here dey smell like history.

Leader arrange send-forth chop for farmhouse. After this food, trek don end; anybody fit stay or go.

Everybody dey happy, dey share how the six days waka be, but me, my mind dey far.

Some people dey swap number, others dey plan next trip. I just dey absent, dey count ceiling.

She no show.

Her absence dey loud. Even the table where she dey sit, e cold.

I rush finish my food, waka round the place, finally find her for rooftop, she dey lean for rail.

She just dey look sky, leg dey swing, her shadow long for floor.

She wear headphone, dey sing for mouth, her leg dey swing for air.

Small breeze dey blow her shirt, e dey dance for her body. She dey inside her own world.

After small delay, I waka go meet her.

Na so I dey rehearse what to say. My mouth dey dry. Finally, I just enter.

She see me, remove headphone, smile. “Thanks for feeding me these days.”

Her smile get small sadness inside. I fit see say she dey hide something.

I answer calm, “No wahala. I suppose do am.”

My voice low. I dey avoid her eye.

“Suppose?” She look me like say I dey joke. “Na your wife you suppose dey buy phone for, not me. I no be side chick for free.”

She no talk loud, but her words dey cut like blade. Na true, but the way she talk am, shame catch me.

So she sabi I get wife. Shame just catch me.

No more hiding. My body cold, but I gats stand strong.

“When you pay, I see woman photo for your wallet. She fine,” she talk. “And you get ring mark for finger.”

I for hide hand, but she don see am. Na smart babe.

I just smile like mumu.

Na so all my shakara scatter.

“Wetin dey do you? You dey feel guilty? For her or for me?”

Her eye dey challenge me. She dey dig deep.

“No ask.” I sit for rail near her, no hide again. “I dey see her once every four months, each time no reach two days. Five years now. E be like say I no even marry.”

Na so truth dey fly for night. For my mind, I dey confess like say na last mass.

“I see…” She shift come near. “So… you want make we do am again?”

My heart jump.

If not for rooftop, I for faint.

“Keep dreaming, abeg…” She cover mouth laugh like small girl. “You fit help me one more time?”

Her laugh cure small pain wey dey my chest.

“Wetin?”

I dey ready for anything.

“Buy phone for me, else I no fit go house.”

Na that time I breathe well. I almost laugh. Small relief dey my heart.

I just breathe out, relief catch me. “No wahala. Mall dey for town—anyone you want, I go buy.”

I talk am with confidence. Money no be problem. My mind don calm.

“You sef no bad.” She look me up and down. “No be because of phone o, but because you sabi play guitar, sabi sing, and… other things too.”

Her wink dey carry story. I just nod, dey smile like goat wey chop yam.