Chapter 2: Night Duty, Family Palava

The reason why I no want stay for hospital na because nobody dey to help me look after baby.

Since my mama no dey gree answer my call, and my papa don lock me out with silent treatment, na only me dey run up and down. No house help, no friend, just me and this pikin wey no dey tire to cry.

After I finish the admission, I no get choice but to go house, pack, and carry the baby come back hospital.

Na wahala, but wetin woman go do? I carry Tega for wrapper, put small powder for him neck, dash back hospital as if na race.

Middle of the night, the baby start to cry for milk. The bottled water in the ward don finish and dem never replace am, so I carry the baby go knock for Dr. Femi duty room.

As I waka reach him door, I dey pray say e no go too vex. But hunger no dey hear pride.

He open door, eye red like say NEPA just cut light for him side.

If to say na area boys, I for fear. But na Dr. Femi, so I just brace up. Even him eye, e dey show say sleep never catch am.

"Wetin happen?"

Him voice low, like say e dey try suppress him annoyance. Me I just dey beg make e pity me.

I stand for door, one hand carry my pikin, the other hand hold bottle. "Doctor Femi, you get water? I wan make formula."

No shame for this motherhood. I stretch the bottle as I rock Tega small make e calm down.

The baby dey cry, no matter wetin I do, e no gree stop. Dr. Femi just scratch head, vexed, then talk for low voice, "Carry your pikin come inside now."

As he allow me enter, I thank God for small mercy. Na so I rush enter, before e change him mind.

Inside, he collect the bottle from my hand with teeth gritted. "Morayo, you sabi disturb person sha."

Him voice na like wetin you go hear from elder brother wey dey complain, but I know say na worry for me dey there small.

"Five years after we break up, you still never change. You admit yourself for hospital, but you no leave the child with him papa. The man die abi?"

I just dey look am, my lips pout like small pikin. The truth dey heavy for my chest.

I pouted, no even know where the vex dey come from. "Him papa no sabi take care of am."

My voice low, pain dey my chest, memory of old quarrel flash.

He talk calm, but him eyes no friendly at all. "Why?"

His voice come low, but e sharp. I dey feel the heat.

"As you talk am—him really die."

The words just slip, and for one second, everywhere just quiet.

…

As I talk am, tears just start to drop. No be say the baby papa die, but because I dey stay awake every night alone, the stress too much, I dey fear, I dey tired, my mind wan scatter.

As the tears begin flow, my chest dey tight. I dey remember all the times I dey battle alone, no help, no hug, no soft word. Sometimes I just wan vanish.

Maybe the cry too much, but small crack show for him always cold face.

I see am blink, as if e dey fight to hold himself.

"Sorry o, I…"

He no finish, and I cut in as I dey wipe my tears. "I know, I deserve am. After I leave you, my life no sweet at all. You happy now?"

Na my pain dey talk, not my mouth. The way e look me, e just sigh, but e still stand like rock.