Chapter 5: Fat Kings, Boy Kings, and Lost Crowns

Ebuka son, Emeka, take over.

Market square silent, everybody dey peep palace gate, dey wait Emeka first order. Some dey fear, some dey hope for miracle.

Emeka na Ebuka badness times two. If Ebuka break human law reach sky, Emeka break am reach heaven gate.

Mama Ngozi for market say, "If Emeka na pepper, Ebuka na salt, but both dey spoil soup!"

Griot dey joke, "If Ebuka dey swim for badness, Emeka dey do high jump."

Ebuka na wahala, but compared to Emeka, he be saint.

Palace guards dey whisper for night, "We think say Ebuka bad, until we see Emeka handiwork."

Ebuka kill some brothers, but still leave some wey no threaten am.

E mean say at least Ebuka dey do small mercy, but Emeka own na to finish all.

As Emeka get power, he continue the killing, clear all remaining family. He gather the uncles—some he lock, some he behead, some he cut into pieces, some he remove their eyes, soak am for honey.

Old men dey fear to sleep, young ones dey hide for bush. Even dogs dey run from palace gate.

Emeka like wicked play. He give each uncle bad nickname. One, Uche, too fat, Emeka call am "Pig King."

For palace, servants dey mock behind back, but nobody fit talk am loud.

Emeka lock am, dig hole for cell, put mud, put wooden trough, force Uche chop with mouth like pig.

Dem say even pig for backyard dey pity Uche. Na real disgrace for royal family.

For more than one year, Emeka dey misbehave, people dey hear all the bad news. At last, some elders no fit take am. Dem plan, kill am, put "Pig King" Uche for throne.

Na so silent whisper turn to sharp knife. When Emeka fall, people dey fear whether Uche go better pass.

Almost at the same time for north, Suleiman Musa take over from Danladi Musa as Garba dynasty king.

For north, Suleiman Musa come young, but elders dey guide am, dey shield am from palace wahala.

That time, Suleiman Musa just small boy, so na elders dey hold real power.

Palace dey run like secondary school—elders dey teach, young king dey learn.

Even as pikin, Suleiman Musa get big mind, just dey wait him time. With Queen Mother Aisha help, he plan coup, clear the strong elders, take power.

She dey tie gele like river goddess, her voice calm but strong, even chiefs from far village dey respect am.

People dey hail Queen Mother Aisha for market, say na woman wey sabi, head correct. She dey teach Suleiman how to stand for council, how to hold sword, how to talk like king.

The coups of Uche and Suleiman Musa both happen for 466, so dem start together.

Elders for both north and south dey count calendar, dey mark new era, dey pray say make peace go last.

But as contestant one, Suleiman Musa, don start dey run, contestant two, Uche, still dey look like say he no sabi road.

People dey laugh, say, "This one fat, him leg heavy. Na only mouth e get."

No be because Uche too fat, need time? No—na because he never fit start.

Even palace guards dey joke, "Oga Uche dey wait make food digest before e take action."

In fact, before Uche get power, Nwosu dynasty don already scatter. Na Emeka third brother, Ifeanyi, cause the wahala.

Ifeanyi sharp, he gather boys from bush, dey plan how to take over palace, dey consult babalawo for night.

Emeka na mad man, wicked, like woman anyhow. Ifeanyi fear for him life, start mutiny, dey march go capital with warriors.

Dem say Ifeanyi carry juju staff, tie red cloth, dey shout for road, "No more evil king!"

For road to capital, some elders join, kill Emeka, put Uche as king.

Palace people dey kneel, dey pray say, "Oluwa, make Uche show us small mercy!"

As throne dey near, Ifeanyi get letter from Uche: "I don clear the wahala Emeka—everybody go house, rest."

Elders dey shake head, "So all our struggle na to put Pig King for throne?"

Ifeanyi and him people shock. If no be for throne, why dem rebel? Just as dem almost win, Uche collect am—wetin that one mean?

Some warriors spit for ground, dey grumble, "Better make we carry farm hoe than serve this kind king."

Ifeanyi spit for letter, refuse go house, call himself king, continue go capital.

Na so two king shadow dey drag for one sun. People dey fear war go start afresh.

At first, things bad for Uche. Ifeanyi hold almost 80% of Nwosu dynasty land.

Uche dey sweat, dey eat more, but still dey try gather mind. Him loyalists dey run up and down, dey beg chiefs for support.

But, because of power, fat Uche gather energy, wear boxing glove, fight back, turn table, kill Ifeanyi in less than one year.

Dem say na that fight Uche shock people—nobody believe say man wey no fit see him feet go fit defeat Ifeanyi. Na true palace surprise.

Sad part be say, Uche sabi fight inside house but fear fight for outside.

People dey gossip, "Na inside king, no be outside king." He go fight brothers finish, but if enemy show for border, na sleep go catch am.

For 467, one year after he finish Ifeanyi, Uche send warriors north to fight Suleiman Musa, but dem scatter am, collect him land.

Warriors return empty hand, some no even see their way home. Na so Uche shame catch am, begin dey fear Suleiman Musa name.

From there, Garba dynasty strong pass Nwosu, south no fit catch up again.

Market women dey price yam higher, say, "North don control, south no get power again."

After Garba dynasty beat am, Uche forget north, face to dey clear any royal family wey fit disturb am.

Na so Uche palace full of spies, every corner dey ear, every roof dey eye.

For 472, Uche die, nine-year-old son, Chima, become king.

Palace servants dey cry, "Which kind wahala be this—king small pass my own pikin!"

For 476, Suleiman Musa wey be 23, die suddenly, another nine-year-old, Bala Suleiman, become king.

Northern elders dey rush, dey cover boy with amulet, dey pray make ancestors protect am for snake palace.

Even as small boy, Chima wicked. He invent many torture tools—hammer, scissors, chisel, knife—dey go outside disguise. If he see person wey he no like, he go order make dem kill am, carry body come palace, use him tools cut am open for secret room. People fear, no dey even come out for day.

Dem say even sun dey hide, moon dey cover face. Children dey refuse go fetch water for fear Chima go see dem.

So wicked as pikin—if he grow, who know wetin he for do?

Even elders dey whisper, "If devil get apprentice, na Chima be that."

For 477, Chief Okechukwu plan coup, kill this bad pikin, put Chima brother, Obiora, as king.

Na so relief blow like harmattan breeze. People dey dance, dey thank ancestors say evil don pass.

For 479, Chief Okechukwu force Obiora drop crown, carry king position, change country name to Okafor—now we dey call am Southern Okafor.

He call big ceremony, kill ram, share meat for street. Old women dey sing, "Obiora no go cry again."

Small Obiora see say wahala dey come. For the ceremony wey dem collect him throne, he cry: "Make I no ever born into royal family again for any life!"

People dey say na true curse, as Obiora tears touch ground, birds no sing for three days for palace compound.

With the cry and blood of pikin, the Nwosu dynasty wey strong man Obinna Nwosu start, disappear for history.

Elders carve new stool for Okafor dynasty, market women sweep palace clean, say, "Let old wahala go with old broom."

For Ogbe market, new gossip: "Which king go last pass one market day this time?"