Chapter 7: Long Life Noodles, Short Goodbyes

Night cold, I go bed early. For table, one bowl of long life noodles dey—as usual, two small vegetable, one fried egg.

The smell from the noodles dey remind me of old memories. Even if e no be Naija food, na love wey e carry be the main thing.

Every year, na Tunde dey cook the noodles himself, dey watch me chop. I think say since we don dey quarrel this year, him no go make am. But the noodles still dey hot.

As I touch the bowl, I dey remember the first time he make am. The taste no dey special, but the love wey e pack inside dey fill my heart.

But today, my body just tire, no appetite. I pick fork, drop am back.

Sickness don dey win today, my hand dey shake small.

I hear Tunde stiff voice for back: "Chop everything—no break the noodles."

His voice dey shake, but he dey try hide am. For here, dem believe say if you break long noodles, you dey cut your own life short.

Dem say if you chop long noodles without break, your life go long—na Tunde mix this tradition join our own.

I try form cold voice. "I chop too much for party. I no fit chop again."

I dey form strong, no wan show weakness. But my voice low, almost break.

Tunde voice small. "Just one bite, for good luck."

His own voice dey beg, like person wey dey plead for mercy. I fit feel the tension for air.

I look am. "I no fit even chop one bite."

I dey look his eye, my heart dey soft, but my body no gree.

Tunde vex. "Ngozi, I use plenty time do this. You must argue with me?"

His words hard, but inside I know say na pain dey talk. He dey try hold us together, even as sand dey run for hand.

Pain just rush my heart.

Na so e dey be when person you love dey hurt, and you no fit talk true. The pain heavy for chest, like old iron pot.

I know say him use time do am. I know say him busy with council wahala, still find time cook this noodles—e no easy. I know say him love me.

Even if the whole world no see am, I sabi say Tunde na my own.

But na because of all this, I no fit bear am.

The fear to leave, the fear to break him heart, all join together. For Naija, we dey protect our own, even when e pain us.

I no wan make am sad, I no wan make am vex. I no even fit tell am say I dey sick. Him still think say na just small cold dey worry me.

As I hold my tears, I dey beg God make Tunde no see the truth for my eyes—because if him see am, na two hearts go break that night.