Chapter 1: No Job, No Choice

No job show after NYSC, so I land for one foot massage parlour by force—not by choice. For Lagos, after NYSC, if you no get connect, na like you dey swim inside gutter wey full. Everywhere just dry. As I waka enter that parlour the first time, the smell of shea butter and liniment nearly choke me. The way those technician babes dey look me, e be like say dem be wolves wey dey eye meat. Their eyes dey shine like torchlight for NEPA night. The thing dey make me shy small. I just bone face, dey pray make dem no use me catch cruise today.

Sometimes, e be like say if I no shine eye, these babes fit use me do cruise. You know as e be for parlour wey everybody sabi play. E get one day wey one new babe tell me, "Tolu, you dey always dey gentle, make you dey careful o!" I just smile, carry my bucket dey clean as if I no hear am.

But the pay na 120,000 naira, dem dey give food and house join, plus small health insurance. Omo, 120k for Lagos? E pass some civil service work sef.

As per wetin person fit chop and where person go lay head, abeg, no be small thing for Lagos. Even the tiny room wey dem give me, I thank God. Sometimes, when I dey finish my night shift, na indomie and fried egg go calm my mind. For this hard life, na small small blessings person dey count.

Still, every day na to dey hear that loud singing from upstairs—how fresh graduate like me go fit handle am?

This singing no be ordinary. Na Yewande dey sing pass everybody. Her voice go just dey float like say na church choir dey rehearse. Sometimes, I go dey ask myself, "Na massage parlour I dey or na music studio?" E dey make me laugh and vex at the same time, but wetin man go do?

"Aunty Ru, abeg, I don taya, make we rest small."

My body don dey pain me. E be like say my backbone wan break.

Fan no dey work, sweat dey soak my singlet. Even my hand dey slip for mop handle.

As I dey talk, my voice just low, make dem pity me. Sometimes, if you no beg, nobody go send you.

One pillow just fly come meet me. "You think say here na party? Abeg, work dey!"

E shock me o! The way Aunty Ru take throw pillow, if she be footballer, she for don score hat trick. I just bone, carry my mop, dey do as she talk. For this work, no space for lazy person. If you slack, you go collect.