Chapter 5: The Wedding Dress Truth

“Ada, food don ready.”

Tobi voice come from outside bathroom.

Him voice strong, but e get small soft tone. I dey smile inside, I dey feel cared for.

I quick hide the pregnancy test.

I wrap am for old nylon, tuck am behind mop bucket. No be today my hide-and-seek skills start.

“I dey come.”

I adjust wrapper, check my face for mirror. No sign of tears. I open door, come out with fake smile.

As I come out, Tobi don arrange food for table.

Table no big, but Tobi arrange am well. Two plates, two spoons, groundnut oil just dey shine for soup top. Fufu dey one side, cold water for bottle.

“Chai, e dey smell well!”

The aroma hit me, my stomach rumble. Egusi dey call my name.

When we first start, Tobi food no sweet at all.

Back then, if you chop, you go know say na struggle. I dey force smile, dey encourage am.

But me self no sabi cook, so I just dey force smile, dey praise am.

Me and Tobi dey the same level that time. Hunger no dey kill love for our side.

But now, e don sabi. Food dey sweet, dey smell nice.

Practice make perfect. Now, Tobi fit open restaurant, e go sell out.

I pinch my belle, dey complain: “I don fat. Na your fault.”

I bone face look Tobi.

I form vex, squeeze face. Tobi know say na play I dey play.

He smile, touch my belle, dey joke: “No be me, na love dey make person round. See as you dey glow.”

He smile, touch my belle, dey joke: “Wetin if na because pikin dey inside?”

The way e talk am, e be like e dey joke. But my mind dey jump. I dey look am, dey pray say make e no suspect.

My body just stiff, even my mouth dey stammer:

I try smile, but my hand dey shake. I just dey dodge eye.

“Abeg, no dey talk that kind thing. You dey always careful now.”

I talk am sharp, try change topic.

Tobi no notice, still dey play:

“True? I remember some times...”

E dey tease me, but the matter don dey serious for my mind.

I rush cover him mouth. “If you talk again, I no go chop. I go starve make you feel am!”

I dey play, but my mind dey hot. I dey fear say e go remember one of those days wey protection fail.

Tobi laugh, remove my hand gently.

The laugh loud, e touch my soul. E clear say e dey enjoy the moment.

“Okay, I no go talk again.”

E smile, use spoon give me fish. Na so love suppose be.

After we chop, Tobi clean house.

E sweep, wash plate, arrange chair. Na correct man. If my mama see am, she go like am more.

Then e say make I go change, make we go waka, help belle digest.

I nod, go inside change cloth. Tobi dey look me, e eyes dey warm.

As I turn go room, Tobi eye just darken.

I notice, but I no talk. Maybe na hunger or e dey think of another thing.

When I come out, he dey smile, stretch hand to me.

He stretch hand, fingers wide, waiting for my own. I fit see small sweat for him forehead.

“Make we dey go.”

He say am, voice soft, but e get strength.

As he hold my hand, e lock our fingers together, grip me tight.

The way e hold me, e be like say e no wan ever loose grip. For street, people dey look us, dey smile.

Afternoon sun no too hot, just soft.

Breeze dey blow, birds dey sing. The area quiet, only sound of keke napep for distance.

Me and Tobi dey gist, dey waka.

We dey talk about random things — school, plan for future, neighbours. Sometimes Tobi go crack joke, I go laugh so till tears drop.

As we turn one corner, I see new bridal shop.

The shop fine, new paint, big signboard. Red and white ribbon for door, balloons dey fly small small.

Wedding dress for window fine die.

The dress get plenty lace, silver bead dey shine, e be like say na for fairy tale.

I remember wetin Tobi talk yesterday, I look the dress two times.

I dey reason whether Tobi dey serious with marriage talk. My mind dey play trick.

Tobi talk: “Make we enter look.”

He dey smile, hand dey my waist. I dey shy, but e no gree.

He pull me go shop. I wan refuse.

My leg dey drag, but Tobi dey use style dey pull me like say I be pikin.

“No, we...”

I try protest, but Tobi no dey hear.

We never even plan marry.

For my mind, e dey too early. I dey reason how I go waka from this matter.

“And we no get money.”

Wedding dress money na big thing. Me, I never even settle rent.

I think am, come change mouth.

I see Tobi face, I no fit say no again. I just smile, gree enter.

Tobi smile: “No wahala, we just dey look.”

E dey try calm me. I gree, dey form brave.

“E fine, abi?”

I nod.

I no fit talk, just nod. My mouth dey dry.

Tobi just pull me enter shop.

The AC cold, smell of new cloth everywhere. Saleslady dey arrange rack, dey smile.

Saleslady dey wave hand fan, dey use pidgin dey hail us: "Aunty, this one go make you fine like Abuja big madam!"

Saleslady dey introduce, I dey look wedding dress for hall, eye land for mannequin for center.

E fine, e tall, the dress reach ground, white pass new sachet water. Na my dream dress be that.

Big trailing dress, plenty layers, dey shine like star, fine scatter for light.

I dey imagine myself inside. The way light dey bounce, I dey feel like princess for Nollywood film.

“This na our best dress, na famous designer Nwankwo Chiamaka design am. The dress get special meaning. Today na new shop opening, you fit try am.”

I dey hear, but my mind dey wander. Special meaning fit mean plenty thing for Naija wedding.

Special meaning?

How I no sabi?

I dey reason, why I no hear this gist before? Abi na jazz dem sew put inside?

Tobi raise eyebrow: “Nwankwo Chiamaka?”

E dey look me, e face dey question.

“Yes, na Nwankwo family first daughter, Nwankwo Chiamaka. She don win many awards, her style dey popular with young people, but she dey low-key, nobody sabi her face.”

I don hear all this plenty times, e no move me.

For my mind, e dey funny. Na my own family dem dey praise, but nobody know say na me.

But Tobi own reaction funny.

He just look the dress, smile one kind.

“Heh.”

The smile dey mischievous, like say e dey plan something.

Then look me: “Ada, her name just one letter different from your own.”

He dey tease me, but I dey form say I no mind. My heart dey jump.

5

Guilt just catch me.

My chest dey tight. Na me be Chiamaka, but I dey pretend say I be Ada. The thing dey pain me, but wetin I go do?

When I first meet Tobi, I no wan use my real name, no get time to form fake one, so I just remove the middle name, call myself Nwankwo Ada.

I just switch name, tell Tobi say I be Ada. For my mind, I dey pray say e no go catch me.

I talk anyhow: “To get name like Miss Nwankwo, na honour, haha.”

I dey laugh, but my voice dey shake. My hand dey rub my leg, try hide nervousness.

“Erm, I go try this dress.”

I sharply change topic.

I wan waka commot from talk wey go expose me. Saleslady dey smile, e show say she dey happy I pick that one.

Tobi pause, eye just light up.

E dey look me like say e win lottery. For Naija, if woman say she wan try wedding dress, na big hope for man.

“Okay, try am.”

He dey reason marriage.

I fit see the future for him eye. Even my heart dey beat fast, I dey fear where all this thing dey go.

As I see hope for him eyes, I feel small guilt.

Tobi dey try, he dey give me joy, but I dey plan run. My heart dey bleed small.

Since we dey together, Tobi treat me well.

E dey show care. E dey help me, no dey raise hand, no dey shout. Na good man.

First e cold, but e dey respect me.

First time we meet, e dey quiet, no too dey talk. But small small, e open up, dey show me better side.

Later, e fall for me well, no wan leave my side at all.

E dey call me morning, afternoon, night. If I miss call, e go send message. If I no reply, e go show for my door.

If I just waka leave am, abandon am, e no too wicked so?

I dey reason, maybe I dey too selfish. I dey use am for my plan, but e dey love me true.

I look Tobi, my mind just dey fly.

I dey remember all the good time. E dey pain me say I dey hide truth.

Saleslady don carry the dress come.

She dey smile, dey help me arrange am. The lace soft, the bead dey cold for my hand.

Tobi bend near me, voice low, happy:

“Wetin you dey reason?”

E dey try enter my mind, e dey smile. The smile sweet, but e get small worry for inside.

I quick snap back. “Nothing...”

I just dey look ground. I dey try hide my eye.

“I go... I go try am.”

I collect dress, dey run enter fitting room. I dey pray say e no go see through me.

I follow saleslady enter fitting room.

The room bright, mirror full everywhere. As I dey change, my hand dey shake. I dey ask God if na sign make I confess.

My mind dey heavy.

I dey reason whether to tell Tobi everything, but fear dey catch me.

The dress get plenty design, so e take time to wear.

I dey sweat, dey adjust, saleslady dey help zip. I dey look my shape for mirror, e be like say I dey watch another person.

As dem open curtain, I just dey nervous.

People dey clap, dey smile. I dey shy, I dey pray make I no fall.

I no fit look Tobi face.

I dey look shoe, dey shift leg. My hand dey sweat.

Till all the shop assistants dey shout say e fine.

Everybody dey praise, dey snap picture. I dey shy, but small joy dey my heart.

Till Tobi waka come meet me.

The smell of him perfume blend with the shop own. I dey calm.

That familiar detergent smell just calm my mind.

E remind me of our small self-contained, our first night together.

I look up, see the way Tobi dey look me, love just full him eye.

E eyes dey red small, but e dey smile. I dey melt.

I smile: “I fine?”

I dey try joke, but I need am to talk.

Tobi throat move, eye just dey on me.

E dey try swallow, e dey lost. E eye dey talk more than e mouth.

“Fine pass anything.”

Na so e talk, e voice low, but e dey shake. The thing sweet me.

“Ada, when we marry, I go make sure you wear better wedding dress.”

The way e talk am, e be like vow. My eye water small.

The love and truth for him eyes fit drown person.

I dey float, my mouth no fit talk. My chest dey hot.

My throat just tight, I no fit talk.

E be like say if I talk, I go cry. I just nod.

Tobi wave, saleslady bring another wedding dress.

Saleslady dey smile, dey clap hand, dey form say I be celebrity.

Na mermaid style, low-key but classy.

This one slim, e go hug my shape. E fine, but e no too shout.

“Try this one for me, I like am.”

Him deep voice get small begging.

E dey look me with hope. I no fit say no.

I no get reason to say no.

E dey beg, and I dey enjoy the attention. I gree.

“Okay.”

I collect dress, dey smile. My heart dey jump.

The mermaid dress dey show shape, waist tight well.

E press my belle, I dey pray say nobody go notice. I dey adjust, dey look mirror.

I just hold my belle without thinking.

I dey try hide am, dey adjust lace, dey look if e dey obvious.

That time, Tobi open curtain, enter inside.

E shock me, but e just smile, dey enter like say na him papa house.

6

I rush put my hand down.

I act fast, form say I dey adjust dress, but my mind dey shake.

He drive saleslady comot, help me zip the back.

E tell saleslady make she go attend to another customer. E come near, hands soft for my back. My skin dey tingle.

He dey tease: “Looks like next time, I no go cook too sweet.”

E dey smile, but e dey look my shape. I dey shy, but I dey laugh.

I follow: “Na true, I almost no fit enter.”

I try laugh, but my mind dey another place. E dey sweet me, but fear still dey ground.

Tobi laugh, stand behind, wrap hand for my waist.

He hold me from back, my heart just dey jump. For mirror, e tall pass me, e chest broad.

For mirror, Tobi tall, just cover me.

E dey look me, face serious, but smile dey hide for corner mouth.

Him eyes dey on me steady.

E no dey blink. E dey look like say e dey study my soul.

“Ada, you know why I pick this one?”

E voice low, I dey feel the vibration for my back.

“Why?”

I dey look mirror, dey try hide my emotion.

The possessiveness for Tobi eyes just dey show, him hand for my waist tight well, like say e wan join me with am.

E hold me as if I be property wey e no fit lose.

He look me for mirror, small madness for him eye.

I see am, e dey fear me small, but e dey sweet me too.

“Bride wey wear mermaid dress no fit run from wedding.”

The joke land, but e carry weight. Na play, but the possessiveness dey real. I dey laugh, but my mind dey reason say this man no go ever let me waka.

My heart just jump.

I dey feel heat for my belle, my hand cold.

Tobi hand move go my belle.

E dey rub am, e face dey serious. I dey fear say e don suspect something.

My body just freeze.

I stiff. I dey try act normal, but my eye dey find exit.

Tobi bend, him hot breath touch my ear.

E dey whisper, voice low. My skin dey rise.

“Ada, you like am?”

E dey wait my answer, but my mouth no fit open.

I no even know wetin to talk.

My mind blank. I dey think, 'If I talk true, e go catch me?'

My heart just dey beat fast.

E dey loud, I dey fear say e go hear am.

E be like say he know something?

I dey wonder if Tobi dey play mind game. E dey look me like say e see everything.

Tobi no even wait for my answer, e no even care.

E dey look mirror, dey talk as if I no dey there.

He dey talk to himself: “You remember when you first chase me, you talk say you like me, fall for me at first sight, say you wan dey with me forever.”

I dey remember, but the shame dey my chest.

“Na true, Ada?”

Tobi pinch my chin, make I look am.

I dey try dodge, but e no let me. I face am, e dey wait answer.

We look each other for eye.

For Naija, if man look you like that, e mean say e dey ready to hear truth.

He talk slow: “Why your eye dey so calm when you dey look me?”

I dey swallow spit, my heart dey race. I dey wonder if e don see my secret, or if na love still dey blind am. For my mind, na prayer I dey pray: 'God, abeg, make wahala pass me by.'

I dey look Tobi, my secret dey press me like heavy stone. If e find out, wetin go happen? My heart dey race as I dey fit the dress—maybe today, everything go scatter.