Chapter 2: Old Wounds, New Play

The only person wey know say I like the school hard guy, Yao Ade, na my childhood friend, Musa Sinian.

All those years for school, na only Musa I fit gist about my crush. Na so the thing pain me when e be like say na me Musa no fit trust last last.

For our university graduation party night, Halima come beg me make I help her go upstairs go rest.

Her voice soft like akamu, but her eyes dey sharp. I still remember the way she hold my wrist, her fake smile like say we be sisters. But something inside me just dey warn me, say make I shine eye.

I no even know say na the school hard guy room be that.

The room set, with big poster of Wizkid for wall. If I know say na Yao Ade room, I for run. But as Halima dey drag me, I just follow like goat wey dey go market.

And the campus belle, her acting na real Nollywood.

Na wa! Halima sabi act o. If dem dey share award, she go collect Best in Pretend. She go dey stagger, next minute her eyes clear like say she get deliverance.

As we waka commot from everybody, she just sober up like say nothing do her, even give me one kain mocking eye.

I catch am. Small corner smile, like say she dey laugh me for inside her mind. She no know say my village people dey watch her too.

For my last life, I no understand all this one.

I be mumu that time, just dey follow Halima like akpan wey dey carry load. I no see the sense in all her acting.

Because for everybody eye, na me be the bad belle, the bookworm wey dey plan evil.

The gist fly everywhere like harmattan fire. "Kamsi na witch! She wan collect Halima boyfriend." Even person wey I no know dey give me side eye for canteen.

Na until I hear Musa Sinian phone call before I kpai, na im my eye clear.

As the words enter my ear, my chest cold. Na that time I know say na sacrifice I be for their play. My mind open like window wey breeze blow.

Na so, e be say he fit give up him whole life for Halima.

The thing pain me. To love person wey no send you, and you dey push another person happiness. Wetin man pikin no go see for life?

And me, I just dey fool myself say when he propose to me, say he love me, say na true.

I remember the ring, the way people clap for us. But the truth na say, all na act. I just dey use myself console family story.

Before I kpai, me and Musa Sinian dey inside blood together.

Blood everywhere. The smell strong like abattoir. My gown tear, my leg dey shake. Musa Sinian face white, blood dey rush from him mouth.

As the car dey come, he use him body shield me, carry all the hit for back.

Na so love dey? To die for person wey you no fit get. Musa no think, he just jump front. I wish I fit thank am then, but my mouth too heavy.

But for that kain time, nothing fit save person.

Omo, na true. Even if you be juju priest, once your time reach, e don reach. The world just slow, like say everything dey far from body.

The car hit throw me more than ten meters.

My back hit ground, all my breath vanish. I fit hear people shout, "Blood! Blood!" but e be like say I dey inside water.

As my sense dey fade, I still see—

My eye dey close, but I dey struggle open am. Light dey fade, but I see shape dey crawl for ground.

No too far, Musa Sinian, dey crawl come meet me, blood full everywhere.

Him hand dey shake, him face dey drag for sand. Him cloth don tear, blood cover everywhere. Na pure stubbornness dey push am reach my side.

Even as pain dey make him body shake, he still dey try reach my side.

E shock me. The love still dey strong, even when him life dey pass go. I wan talk, but my mouth dey heavy.

All him ten fingers wound reach bone, him voice dey shake anyhow.

I see bone for finger. The thing weak me. Musa voice crack like broken speaker, but he still dey call my name, like say if I hear am, e go change something.

"Kamsi, abeg no do me like this."

The pain for him voice go touch stone. He dey beg, but na himself e dey beg too. The street light shine for him face, blood and tears mix for him chin.

"Wake up, hear my explanation."

Him hand dey shake, dey find my own. People don gather dey shout, "Ambulance! Call ambulance!" But nobody fit enter that space between us.

"I beg, I mess up, Kamsi."

My chest dey tight, like say something dey press me. For my mind, I dey see all the years wey pass, all the smiles wey fake.

Musa Sinian voice dey pain my ear, I just wan vomit, na so I cough blood.

My mouth full, the metallic taste strong. I wan talk, but only gurgle come out. My body dey cold, but sun still dey shine for above.

For my last breath, I try one last thing.

I gather all the stubbornness wey my mama say I get. I no go die for nothing.

I use my last energy move my finger.

Even if na small, I go talk my own. I stretch am, just reach him finger.

I dodge Musa Sinian hand wey dey find my own, no gree make our fingers touch.

I shift small. Make e no be say na forgiveness I dey give. Sometimes, na better to die with your truth than to die with regret.

Now wey you dey say sorry, e don too late.

If apology dey buy happiness, market for full everywhere. As darkness swallow me, I swear for my spirit—if I get another chance, I no go beg for love again.