Chapter 5: Hospital Blame and Family Scripts

When I reach hospital, not only uncle and aunt dey, my parents sef don land.

I waka enter with small swagger. I no let their wahala show for my face.

As I push door open, next thing, pure water sachet land for my leg—na Ebuka throw am.

"Get out! All of una get out!"

Ebuka voice loud. The nurse for corridor run come check.

"Na laugh una come laugh me? My legs don go!"

His eyes red, as if na ogogoro dey his blood.

"Both legs don go! I go kill all of una!"

People for ward dey look us. The nurse dey shake her head, dey mumble: "Na family dey do this one." One ward cleaner pass, dey gossip for pidgin: "See as dem dey shout, na so so drama for this ward."

The smell of hospital jollof and Dettol dey mix for air, my nose dey catch am.

I shock, look the hospital bed.

My eyes scan am proper. This one pass last life wahala.

True true, for bed, from Ebuka thigh go down, nothing dey, both legs just dey bandaged.

E pain me reach bone. I never see am this bad before. For that moment, my chest dey tight like say I swallow yam.

Unlike last life wey only one leg go and dem save the other one—now, both legs don go!

E shock me. E show say wahala fit always get another layer.

Na only one leg suppose go before now?

My mind dey race, dey try calculate wetin change for this life.

As I dey shock, Ebuka glare me like say he wan chop me alive.

The anger for him eye fit burn cloth. I shift back small.

"Chijioke, you happy now? Why you come late like this!"

If to say na market, he for gather crowd with him voice.

"If you come early, maybe I for get power to kick the nurse, for delay the treatment!"

I just dey look am. Na who dey reason like this? But pain dey make person talk anyhow.

"At least, at least I for still get one leg!"

He sob small, bite lip.

"I go kill you, I swear!"

The curse heavy. If not for God, I for fear.

But…

I remember say, for hospital, words fit fly, but security tight.

He don lose both legs, so na to just dey shout for bed remain.

His eyes dey roll, hands dey punch pillow. E weak me.

Uncle and aunt just dey sob, no talk.

Tears dey their face. Aunty dey shake, uncle just dey wipe eye with old handkerchief.

My parents, as if something dey worry their head, join Ebuka dey blame me.

Family blame dey sweet them. I just dey watch.

My mama even slap me for back.

Na old style discipline. "You no get sense!" she hiss. People for ward dey look us.

"True talk, Ebuka, why you come late like this?"

Mama voice dey high, as if she wan break ceiling.

"Your auntie no tell you to come early? You…"

She dey wag finger, eyes dey red.

"If you dey here, you for control Ebuka, he for no kick nurse!"

I want laugh, but I hold am. Na so dem dey reason for village.

"You know say, the nurse don ready with injection, but as he kick am, the woman use the needle for herself!"

Nurse sef dey pity herself. "Dem dey wahala for here o," she talk for side.

"Na till another nurse come down from ward, dem fit treat am, this delay waste more than one hour!"

You see, for Naija, delay fit mean life or death. Na why dem dey shout.

"If you dey here, all this no for happen…"

She hiss, turn face away.

As my mama dey nag, cold just catch me for body.

E be like say I dey for Igbo shrine, when elder dey curse. My body dey shake, but I stand ground.

Na so dem dey always do, always push blame give me.

If rain no fall, na me. If soup no sweet, na me.

When we small, cousin come my house chop, snatch my chicken leg, I collect am back, he cry, my mama beat me—say I no dey care for my brother.

All these small small things pile for my memory. E dey form heavy load for chest.

Cousin fight for school, the other pikin parent come, my parents say I no dey look after my brother.

Even when cousin say school no dey pay and delivery dey pay, dem send me to talk to am, when I fail, dem say I useless.

Dem no ever see reason, na only blame dem sabi share. Cousin life spoil—somehow, na my fault.

I just dey look them. I dey wonder if na me be God.

I no understand.

But for this country, family matter dey always pass logic.

Why dem dey always show outsiders better face, but push every responsibility on me?

I dey ask God question. Maybe na like this Naija family dey be.

Na so e be for my last life.

Nothing change. People dey always repeat old wahala.

And now, still the same.

But I don wise. This time, I go hold my ground.

But e no matter. Since I know how dem be, I dey ready.

My chest strong. I dey wait them. No more mumu moves.