Chapter 3: Past Lives, Second Chances

Who go believe say na on top divorce matter we go die?

If person tell me, I for shout say na lie. See as wahala fit turn life upside down for this Nigeria.

Just before that tanker jam us, I still dey abuse am—call am pervert, peeping tom, fantasy man!

I no hold back, mouth dey sharp pass blade. Everybody for bus dey fear, dey shift go window!

Tunde face dark like pot bottom, teeth dey grind.

E jaw tight, vein for neck dey show like pepper seller. For this kind mood, person fit fight lion.

“Na Ifeoma I love! From beginning to end, na she dey my heart! If you no resemble her, you think say I for look your side? Amaka, check yourself—wetin you get wey pass Ifeoma?”

Na so e open mouth, gree all the truth wey dey for im mind, no send how I go feel. My heart catch fire!

Wetin dey pain me pass for this life na say dem dey always compare me with Ifeoma!

If na village, dem for use Ifeoma face do new currency, my own na to dey follow shadow dey waka.

Even after she die, na her shadow I still dey live under!

I no fit run, I no fit hide. Na Ifeoma everywhere! E don tire me!

Why now?

My hand don already enter Tunde hair.

No time to think, just action. If na street, I for don break bottle!

“Oya, make we die together!”

I no send! Both of us, if e be like that, make we waka go! Nobody holy pass.

Next thing, na screech I hear—tanker don lose control dey come our way!

Everywhere just slow, noise scatter, my blood cold—tanker dey fly like juju dey pursue am.

My head blank.

I see as Tunde face white, sharply turn steering, use im body block am! Horn dey blast, tanker dey shake road, my teeth dey clatter for fear.

Everything happen for split second. I wan shout but voice lost.

I just dey look am like mumu—

Shock hold me. My whole life flash, all the small small memories, even the quarrel.

This same person wey I don dey fight for ten years!

No be today. People dey try, but we two no dey ever gree.

We no ever fit blend!

If dem put us for the same team, wahala go burst. People dey use us do example—'If marriage spoil, na like Amaka and Tunde!'

Everyday na quarrel, fight, no rest for ten years!

Neighbours don sabi our gist. If dem dey look compound, dem dey use our own set time for clock—'Na Amaka and Tunde fight time.'

Why we no break up?

Sometimes, I ask myself. E get wetin dey tie us? Dem swear for us?

People dey ask am, people dey ask me.

Aunty for church, Mama Chinyere for compound, even pepper seller—all of them dey try know, but we no dey talk truth.

I no talk.

My own answer na silence. Wetin I go talk?

E go dey smoke, face down.

Tunde go just dey look ground, blow cigarette, like say e dey reason life problem.

Nobody fit talk why.

No prophet, no pastor, no neighbor sabi. E just be like say both of us dey inside one juju circle.

Just like that year, when e carry flower wey don wither, dey ask me if I wan try am!

If you see the flower, e no fine at all, na suffering flower. E still get mind dey present am—tch!

Funny thing be say, just some days before, na im reject my proposal, say im no want date, im wan focus for book!

I remember how I carry face go ground, na shame wan kill me! Dem for use me do example for 'how not to toast boy'.

How im mind take change quick like that?

Na later I know—im first go meet Ifeoma, wan toast her, but she gently bounce am!

If na me, I for no bounce Tunde so gently. But Ifeoma na gentle girl, she use soft mouth reject am.

Heartbreak catch am, as im see me—

Na that heartbreak push am come my side—no be say na me e want.

See my face wey resemble Ifeoma own!

Our resemblance na the koko! People dey talk am, but na today e pain me reach bone.

Na so im just waka come my side!

No true love o, na rebound! E just come use me clean tears!

Dey use me hold body for Ifeoma!

For full ten years, na so I dey play second fiddle! Ifeoma na star, me na the shadow.

For ten years!

If to say life fair, my own for different, but na so.

E really deserve am!

Sometimes I even think say e deserve hot slap for all the pain e cause me. But wetin I fit do?

E suppose die!

I for shout, 'Good for you!' But my heart no dey strong reach that.

Who send am to go use im life save my own?

I no beg am, I no even ask. Why e go do am?

Just so I go live 0.01 second pass am!

E fit be say na pride, na last chance to prove say e no be bastard.

Wetin concern me?

Abeg, as Naija people dey talk, person wey die, don finish im race.

Abeg, when person die, na everything don end!

As Tunde fall, na all the quarrel, all the vex, all the wahala just vanish. Only silence remain.

From now on, all the wahala go vanish!

For my mind, I dey hope say I go get peace at last. Make my spirit rest.

Just dey hope say for next life, as I open my eyes—

I dey pray, 'God abeg, next life, give me better hand!'

Chei!

The kain thunder wey shock my soul, na so memory open again!

As I open eyes, na seventeen-year-old Tunde I see!

For junction, e dey stand, old school bag for back, face still dey form.

How I take know say im be seventeen?

Everything for body still fresh, pimples for chin, shoes still dey shine. The bouquet e hold na blue hibiscus!

Because na bouquet of blue hibiscus e carry, face like person wey chop bitterleaf!

That face, e tight like say e lick strong ogbono soup! You go fear.

I hate hibiscus!

Na the flower wey dey grow for gutter! E get colour but no get level.

Na roses I dey like—red, hot, romantic, show off!

For Valentine, all my friends dey get roses. Me? Hibiscus. Shame go catch me!

Tunde go dey look me like say I no get sense, say I no sabi beta thing!

Sometimes e go say, "Amaka, you no dey appreciate wetin you get for this life!"

E go dey ask if I sabi wetin hibiscus mean!

"You know say dem resemble bird wey dey fly? Na freedom! E get meaning!"

“No be like say dem resemble swallow wey dey fly? Na freedom dem mean, nothing dey hold you! E no sweet you?”

Me I no see am like that o!

If you like, talk say na freedom, me I want love—no be freedom!

All I sabi be say, na rose dey mean love!

For all the magazine, na rose dem dey show. Na dat one I want!

Lovers dey give rose!

For wedding, for proposal, for film, na rose everywhere!

But until that tanker jam me, I no ever see even one rose!

If to say I get rose, my own for sweet! But na hibiscus I dey collect—life just dey use me play.

Now wey I reborn reach here—see my life!

I look myself for mirror, see all the small small pimples, school uniform. Chai! Story don start again.

And the worst be say—Tunde look up!

For that split second, our eye jam—my body just dey freeze. My heart beat kpom kpom kpom!

As our eye jam, both of us know as e be!

E dey clear say both of us remember—wahala go soon start!

Heh!

For my mind, I dey reason, 'Na wah! Second chance no be beans!'

No need think am—this guy too don return!

No need prophet to tell me. Na so life be for this Naija, e fit reset by fire by force!

Na so poverty dey turn person to wanderer for im own house.

But tomorrow, wahala go still find me—Naija pikin no dey rest.