Chapter 1: Seventeen Secrets

At seventeen, I had a secret—one that made my heart race every time Arjun swaggered past me in the school corridor, shirt untucked and hair wild.

Even though I tried to hide it, my feelings always bubbled up every time he passed by, his careless grin making my cheeks flush. I would quickly look away, pretending to be busy with my torn textbook. A faint whiff of chalk dust and the distant ring of the school bell mixed with the spicy aroma of canteen samosas drifting through the window, my heart pounding so loudly I thought the whole classroom could hear.

My family was poor. To buy him a birthday present, I saved up for an entire year.

Every morning, I made do with just one vada-pav for breakfast, sometimes skipping lunch, stashing away the money I should have spent at the canteen. The sound of coins dropping into my old steel piggy bank became my daily hope. Sometimes, when Ma caught me skipping meals, she would scold me, "Pagli, why are you starving yourself? At this age, girls need to eat!" But I would just smile and say, "Diet, Ma!" not daring to tell her the real reason.

The day something happened to my mother, I left school early.

The air felt heavy, the sort of afternoon when the sun seemed to burn with a personal grudge. As I rushed home, my mind whirled with worry, but my feet somehow took me past the school playground, where the sound of laughter and shouts still echoed. I remember clutching my bag tightly, the rough canvas biting into my fingers.

By chance, I overheard him laughing with his friend: "Yaar, even third prize from Sharma Sweets is better than this, na?"

His friend burst out laughing. "Give it to me, bro. I’ll sell it and get some extra time at the cyber café only."

Their laughter was sharp, almost cruel. The mention of the cyber café brought memories of crowded internet booths and sticky keyboards. My stomach twisted, feeling both ashamed and foolish.

"If you want it, take it," Arjun said dismissively, tossing the watch to him. At that moment, his eyes met mine. He blinked, shoulders stiffening, as if caught doing something he shouldn’t. For a second, he looked like he wanted to say something, but the words never came.

For a moment, time seemed to freeze. His eyes, dark and quick, registered surprise, then indifference. The world around us faded, leaving only the sharp ache in my chest.

Later, at a class reunion, I heard that Arjun had been looking for me for eight years.

My hands trembled when I heard it, memories flooding back in a rush so fierce that my mouth went dry. Eight years. Why now, after all this time?