Chapter 5: Old Shadows, New Light

I just remember Tunde first show.

That memory dey play for my mind, like old film for Aba market DVD.

I dey carry support banner, don taya.

I sit for one corner wey light no dey, dey catch my breath.

For stage, Tunde stand for spotlight, na him get the place.

That day, I dey proud, heart full like mama wey see her pikin collect school prize.

For crowd, fans dey wave glow sticks, dey shout.

I no dey hear music, or the shout.

My hearing aid spoil that day, so na just silent world for me. But my eyes no blink, dey follow am everywhere.

For my quiet world, na only Tunde I dey see.

Him be light, dey shine for my dark youth, till today.

Suddenly, crowd scatter.

Some boys dey fight, throw things. I try run, but body weak.

I fall, no fit stand up.

Person throw mic, jump come down, push people, bend hold me tight.

Blood from him forehead drop reach my lips.

Tunde...

Because you dey fear say you go spoil her stand-in, abi?

So why you dey rub my head, dey tell me make I no fear?

So why, when I be seventeen...

You dey act like say na only me dey exist. The memory sweet and bitter, like palmwine wey don sour.

At seventeen, I dey live for Morayo shadow.

After my mama marry her papa.

The man go praise the song wey I write, but Morayo go tear the music paper.

My small songbook na my treasure, but every time I write, Morayo go find way to scatter am. The pain dey burn.

"Deaf mumu, if you try write again, I go slap your mouth scatter!"

She hate me, bring friends come break my hearing aid, dey laugh the way I dey talk, even spread dirty rumor about me.

One time, she pour sand for my lunch, tell everybody for class say na witch I be.

But for teacher eye, she still be good pikin.

She dey do church girl for outside, but for house, na fire she be.

So, when dem accuse me say I thief bracelet,

She cry tell teacher, her mouth dey move fast.

But me, after many years wey I no dey hear well, my speech slow, dey drag.

For teacher eye wey dey full of disgust, I just close mouth.

I dey wish say my voice go loud reach them, but I just dey look ground, shame full my body.

The pain just dey my chest, dey reach my eye.

One boy wey dey recite for one side just hiss.

Him sabi sign language well:

[See mumu, nobody go understand you. You no sabi say you suppose write am?]

He bring paper, slap am for my desk, say: “Write your own story, make dem hear you.”

Behind the boy, sun dey pass the mango tree for window, shine for him black eye under him rough hair.

For that moment, na like say angel land. Him dey bold, him dey sure.

After I prove say I no thief, he carry me go.

He hold my hand, drag me away from the crowd. I feel like say I dey float.

For Morayo angry eye.

Her face twist like pepper enter her eye. I fit see say she vex, but Tunde no even look am.

Tunde remove earring from him left ear, put for my ear.

Him voice near my ear, loud so Morayo go hear:

He talk:

"My grandma deaf too. No fear. If she try you again, press the earring. The other one go sound, I go show."

That heartbeat last ten years.

The promise hold me, give me courage. For once, I no feel alone for this world.