Shamed By My Crush, Haunted By My Past

Shamed By My Crush, Haunted By My Past

Author: Tracy Green


Chapter 6: The Reunion

I buy the earliest morning bus ticket, mind just calm.

As I carry my bag go motor park, early morning cold dey bite, but my mind dey soft. I dey look sky, dey see as sun dey try show face. I dey hope say this journey go give me small closure.

For eight years, I never get this kind peace for even one day.

Normally, even when I dey drink tea for work, my heart dey rush. But this morning, na just quiet for my mind. Maybe na the road dey call me.

I dey look outside window, dey gist and laugh with one young couple wey sit near me.

The boy dey use earphone, but the girl dey find gist. She ask me where I dey go, I just smile.

The girl talk, “Sister, you no know how I chase this boy. Plenty girls dey follow am, but I no give up for two years. Now I dey carry am go meet my people.”

The way she dey talk, you go know say love dey sweet her. Her boyfriend dey blush like pikin. I just dey look, dey smile small.

She smile give me. “Sister, you look happy—na home you dey go? I believe say the breeze wey blow when person dey go see their parents dey always sweet!”

She dey right, the road breeze dey really sweet, especially if you dey go see better people. I force myself smile join.

I pause, force smile. “Mm, I dey go house too.”

I try make my voice no shake, but the pain still dey inside.

“Dey go house... to see my parents.”

I talk am, but na my spirit dey answer. The words dey heavy.

The rest, I just talk am low, only me fit hear.

"...for the last time." E no loud, na only my heart hear am.

But as I talk am, my mind sweet me small.

As I talk am, I dey imagine say my mama go dey door, my papa go dey porch, dey wave. E pain, but e sweet small. Na bitter-sweet feeling.

Soon... I go see my papa and mama.

For my mind, na picture of their face dey flash. I dey hope say, if I waka reach that river, maybe I fit finally rest.

I dey hum song all the way.

Na old Igbo gospel song, the one my mama dey sing for morning. I dey sing am low, just to hold myself together.

After I come down from bus, I go straight to the place class captain book.

I no even branch to buy gala or water. My mind dey on mission. I go check the hotel first, then plan the rest.

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