Chapter 9: Tans, Avoidance, and Letting Go

Not long after, brutal orientation camp started. Even with my usual stamina, I was exhausted.

The hostel corridors smelled of old paint and mosquito coil, fans spinning lazily overhead. The sun in Delhi was unforgiving. My skin burned, sweat clung to my shirt, and my shoes filled with dust. Each night, I crashed onto the hostel bed, too tired to even dream.

Priya, who couldn’t handle the sun, got several shades darker.

She threatened to buy Fair & Lovely in bulk, making us all laugh.

Meera complained endlessly on WhatsApp.

Her voice notes were full of “Aiyyo, I miss Bangalore weather!” and “Why is North India so hot?”

The three of us planned to eat together again.

We debated between chole bhature and dosa. Food was the only comfort after the long, sweaty days.

Since Ananya had treated us last time, I wanted to return the favour, so I messaged her. She refused.

The reply was curt—just a thumbs down emoji. I stared at my phone, then sighed.

I felt a little disappointed. Her dislike was obvious. If even Arjun wasn’t good enough, what chance did I have?

I suddenly wondered what kind of guy she liked.

Maybe someone taller, richer, with better jokes. Or maybe someone who didn’t steal drunken kisses and run away.

Someone that unreliable, and yet she cared so much.

It stung, knowing she’d loved someone else, someone who didn’t deserve it.

I couldn’t even describe how I felt.

It was a mess of jealousy, regret, and something I didn’t have a name for.

A hopeless crush should be let go, I told myself.

I started avoiding Ananya, steering clear of any event where she might show up.

I’d see her from a distance—laughing in the canteen, hair tied up, surrounded by friends—and duck out before she noticed me.

I was scared that seeing her would make my heart race again, and I’d just fall deeper.

Later, I heard from Meera that Ananya had moved on, was busy with all sorts of competitions, and didn’t have time to dwell on those things.

She was winning debate after debate, collecting certificates like cricket cards. Meera sent me blurry photos—Ananya, all confidence on stage.

And I didn’t see her at all for the rest of the semester.

When winter break rolled around, it was still just me, Meera, and Priya hanging out. Ananya didn’t join us. Meera said she’d come back a couple days later.

We watched movies on Priya’s laptop, eating chips in bed, talking about everything except Ananya.