Chapter 7: Foiled Again by Fate and Babus

After nightfall, I was sleeping soundly in bed.

The palace was silent except for the distant sound of a tabla and the steady ticking of a brass clock. For once, I dreamed of home: my old roommate snoring, the whirr of the hostel ceiling fan.

Suddenly, the system chimed:

A notification flashed in my mind—almost like a WhatsApp ping, but far more ominous.

[Detected that Mr. Mehra checked the accounts overnight.]

[Uncovered thirteen officials embezzling military funds.]

[Recovered forty crore rupees.]

Me: Ahhhhhh!

I sat bolt upright, nearly tumbling out of my giant bed. Was I the only one in this kingdom trying to be bad?

The next morning, Mr. Mehra knelt outside the palace gates, tears streaming down his face:

"Your Highness is wise! You already knew there were parasites in the army!

I will allocate the recovered funds and rebuild the northern frontier defences."

He sniffled, dabbing his eyes with the edge of his turban. Gopal looked at me with a secret, knowing smile—almost as if he too had seen a few Bollywood comedies in another life.

The system chimed again:

[Host unlocked achievement: 'Keen Insight'.]

[Integrity +50, reputation +100.]

I nearly spat blood—absolutely devastated.

My dreams of a lazy, disastrous reign—ruined by overenthusiastic babus. I buried my head in my arms and groaned, "Bas, ho gaya. This kingdom won’t be lost at this rate, only my sleep!"

What is wrong with you, Mr. Mehra?

I told you to build the Star-Touching Tower!

Why on earth are you catching corrupt officials?

And even if you did, couldn't you have pocketed some of the recovered money for yourself?

Is this reasonable?

Is this how things are supposed to go?

Weren't you supposed to be the most corrupt?

Weren't you supposed to use every trick in the book?

Where's your professional pride as a corrupt official?

Why aren't you playing your part?

Mr. Mehra knelt obediently before me and replied:

"Your Highness, if I don't catch the corrupt officials..."

"I can't scrape together enough funds to build the Star-Touching Tower..."

Well said.

Punishment: next time, you're not allowed to talk.

I shook my head, suppressing a laugh. Even in my attempts to be the biggest fool, these people managed to twist everything around. I glanced at Gopal, who shrugged with a sly grin, and decided maybe—just maybe—this ancient India would never let me lose so easily.

I let out a long sigh, staring at the punkha swinging lazily above. Maybe in this world, even villains have to be heroes first.