Chapter 2: Where Dog Dey?

Late for night, after I wrap one reality show shoot, I dey head house. Lekki breeze cool, but work still dey my body like hot amala.

Normally, once my dog hear the passcode, e go dey scratch door like police dey chase am, but today—zero noise. Not even one bark or tail wag. House just dry, silence heavy like wrapper.

I open door, call am: Oluwanifemi.

"Little Monster, where you dey? Daddy don come back." My voice echo for parlour, na only fridge and faint generator hum I hear as reply—NEPA light just dey blink anyhow.

I call am, shake biscuit container—still nothing. E shock me. I start search room by room, even check balcony, kitchen, behind curtain. Na only slippers and empty pure water sachet dey greet me.

Worry catch me proper, I check CCTV. Generator dey hum for background, light flash small-small as NEPA dey play game. My hand dey shake as I scroll the footage. Wetin I see weak me.

Temi Ajayi—the Lagos small madam—dey sneak for my door, dey look left and right like say na Nollywood thriller. Hoodie and shades for midnight, imagine.

She punch my password, enter. Little Monster never see her for half month, but once he spot am, tail wag, dey whine, dey happy like say na Temi na real owner. My mouth open.

She just put leash for neck, carry am waka comot. No wahala, no struggle. Like say dem dey rehearse for this kind thing every week.

The whole dog-stealing package too smooth. I just dey vex and laugh. I picture my neighbours dey peep window—dem go think na film we dey shoot for midnight.

I drag Temi from WhatsApp blocklist, hit her with video call. My heart dey beat like generator wey dey off and on.

She pick sharp sharp, phone close by, but she turn head, dey form hard girl, no wan look camera. Standard Temi.

"Hmph. No be you talk say anybody wey look back first na dog? So why you dey call me now?"

I see Little Monster dey chop biscuit for her side, acting like na him own house.

"If you no come my house steal my dog, you think say I go dey call you?"

"You know say to break enter person house and carry their property na crime?"

Temi, Mama Ajayi pikin, still dey do stubborn and proud. That her pride strong pass stubborn goat.

She just relax for sofa, dey rub Little Monster head with big smile, as if na baby she dey pet.

"I just carry my son come house. Which law I break?"

I remind am, "Little Monster na me buy am."

Temi flash teeth, "But na me dey feed am since he dey two months old. If you wan see Little Monster, abeg come house." She raise eyebrow like say na challenge.

After all day recording, I no get strength to argue. I just dey look am.

"I go give you one million. Little Monster na my own."

As she hear am, Temi jump like person wey match electric fence, vex: "Femi, you dey craze."

She cut call, screen black. I just shake head.

Few minutes later, Temi post another WhatsApp status with Little Monster, caption: [Secretly carry my son from my boyfriend.]

I just burst laugh. "This girl too childish." Temi and wahala—five and six. God abeg.