Chapter 7: Little Monster’s Return

Everybody dey hype up as the news land.

"Brother Seyi too lucky. Little Princess dey spoil am!"

"Brother Seyi life na fairy tale, e too sweet."

"Abeg, when I go get Little Princess girlfriend like this?"

Seyi Makinde dey form shy, pinch finger: "Aiya, make una stop, make I go see."

Director suggest make all of us go together. People rush like say palliative just arrive.

We step out, staff dey hold Caucasian Shepherd for leash. Dog chest out, fur dey shine like luxury carpet. One babe dey sip zobo, another dey chew gala, gist dey fly.

My phone buzz—Temi message: [Hubby, Grandpa just call meeting. Help me look after Little Monster, I go come carry am tonight.]

My eye twitch, I reply: [I dey record live show. Why you send Little Monster here? I know your plan. Carry am go back, abeg.]

Temi send photo: [I dey office.]

I lock phone, breathe deep. I wan shout, but camera dey everywhere.

How she reach office so fast? Abi she get twin?

Seyi Makinde look around: "Na only the dog?"

"Madam Temi say she gats go company, so she say make I give the dog to his papa."

Staff hand leash to Seyi Makinde. Everybody dey "awww."

Caucasian get thick fur, breeze dey blow am, guests dey rush pet am. Dog dey enjoy, like celeb.

"Brother Seyi, wetin be the name of the dog wey you and Little Princess dey raise?"

Ifeanyi, Ajayi Media new artist, form journalist. "This one… how I go talk am…"

Everybody tease, director dey giggle.

"Ah, Brother Seyi dey shy. I wan know the name now."

"E be like say the name get something to do with Brother Seyi."

Seyi Makinde clear throat, voice almost shake. "Okay, I go talk. Na she insist say make we name the dog Seyi Seyi, like pap."

Ifeanyi form envy: "Wuwu, another mouthful of dog food—I no fit do this show again."

[Little Princess love Seyi scatter. Even the dog name dey about am.]

[They dey force us single people to chop love. Abeg, I too dey jealous.]

[The Caucasian too fine, Seyi dey pamper am.]

I just twist mouth. Little Monster agree change name? Wonders no dey finish for Lagos.

Sharp-eyed netizens catch my face, dey drop comment.

[Why Femi face be like that? E dey jealous.]

[Jealous of wetin? Seyi dey talk rubbish. No be normal to be speechless?]

[Femi go soon try snatch Little Princess from Seyi.]

[Na only dream. Little Princess love only Seyi. No be any random cat or dog fit win her heart.]

Seyi Makinde just dey smile, lead dog go duplex, dey form celebrity dog owner.

But the dog just sit down, no gree move. Everybody pause, dey look.

E dey look around, as if e dey find person. The stubbornness dey funny me.

[Daddy-chan, where you dey~ I fit smell your scent.]

Seyi Makinde smile for camera, act awkward. "Seyi Seyi, make we dey go."

Caucasian just turn head away, form boss, just like Temi. No be small wahala.

As I remember, I just laugh. Sometimes, dog dey resemble owner.

Little Monster hear my voice, begin struggle to break free from Seyi Makinde leash. Loyalty na real matter for Lagos.

[Ahhh, see as Seyi and Little Princess dog dey act! That head-turn too cute, I wan faint.]

[Seyi fans, abeg stop. The dog no even send Seyi.]

[See me see wahala. Seyi fans, come look—why Little Princess dog no send your Seyi?]

[Haters dey talk nonsense. If dog no like Seyi, who else? Seyi na real boyfriend.]

[Heh, Little Princess never even announce am, una don dey call am real boyfriend. E fit turn joke o.]

[To me, e be like say the Caucasian wan go meet Femi.]

[Pfft. If Seyi Seyi like that yeye Femi, I go chop shit stand for my head.]

As I see that comment, I just hiss and wave at Little Monster. "Little Monster, come here."

Na so wahala for social media dey start small, small for Lagos, where everybody sabi your gist before you even blink. As I dey wave at Little Monster, my phone buzz again—new notification. Omo, next wahala don land.