Chapter 3: Mute Princess

I still be princess, but no be the chief real pikin.

No matter my title, people dey whisper behind, dey side-eye me for palace corridor. If I waka near market women, dem go pause their gist. Small pikin go call me "Palm Grove pikin," then run go hide.

I be daughter of Musa’s favourite wife, and because dem like my mama, dem give me princess title.

For Garba palace, na plenty wife dey, plenty pikin join. But because mama get fine face, dem no fit push her pikin commot. I dey use title waka, but e no sweet me.

Some people dey use palace wahala rise up.

Dem dey hustle, dey play game, dey try win chief eye. Even for harem, na politics dey everywhere. Small mistake, dem go use am against you.

My mama use kingdom wey she thief rise up.

Na true. From small wife, she jump reach top. Even main wife dey fear her small. Palace women dey talk, "No let Halima mama near your husband o!" But dem no know say she no send dem.

But e still dey do me like say all her wahala no reach. After all her run up and down, na only one title she gain.

She dey shine, yes, but no get root for ground. People dey hail her, but na with teeth outside, poison inside. All her plans, na for her pikin.

Now, my mama really dey enjoy, but anybody wey get eye go see say chief no love am.

For night, I go hear her dey cry sometimes. Chief dey busy with council, dey party with other wives. For public, he go praise her, but private, na cold breeze dey blow.

Chief of Garba no dey love anybody; na only power e dey love.

E dey count him money, dey arrange boys, dey plot move for next kingdom. Woman na just piece for board.

My mama, this fine tool, still dey shine for harem after dem use am finish.

Sometimes, I see am dey sit for window, dey look sky. She fit dey think say her beauty go last forever, but for chief eye, na just decoration she be.

But my mama no dey see am like that. Me, I dey feel say she dey inside one fine dream wey no real.

E be like say she dey act film for her mind, dey play queen role wey no belong to her. She dey laugh, dey talk soft, but sometimes she go freeze, eye go dey far.

I first think say she betray papa because she dey loyal to her country.

I reason say maybe na patriotism, say she wan help her people. But I begin see say e no be like that.

But no be so. Na love dey worry her.

Love wey fit blind person sotey dem go betray their own. Love wey dey sweet and bitter at the same time.

But the person wey she love no be my papa.

Her body dey house, but her heart dey another man side. Her smile for chief dey different, e dey fake.

Na the present chief of Garba.

Na im she dey think, na im she dey plan for, even when she dey carry me go school.

I come mute. Local health center doctor talk say na trauma cause am.

Dem carry me go health center, do checkup. Nurse talk say, "This pikin don too see pain." I just dey mute, dey look everybody. My voice lock for inside chest, no wan commot. Sometimes I go try talk for dream, but even for dream, my mouth dey heavy.

I no know if na true trauma hold me, but I just no want talk.

No be say mouth pain me, na just say, after everything, wetin I wan talk again?

I still dey live for the compound wey I grow up. Dem talk say north too cold, so after Palm Grove fall, na here dem move capital come.

For compound, everywhere change. Old guards dey mix with new people. My room dey smell different, the air no be as sweet as before. Mama dey try decorate, but I no send.

Mama still be mama, compound still be compound, but I no like anybody for here.

Na only groundnut and small goat wey dey play for backyard dey make me smile small. The rest, na strangers.

Mama want make I call chief papa, but I refuse, because my mouth no dey work again.

She go come my room, sit, dey beg. She go say, "Call am papa, e go help you." But I just dey look am. My spirit no fit.

She come dey vex small small, her face dey show am.

Her fine face dey form wrinkle. She dey hide am with powder and cloth, but I see am. E dey pain her, but she no fit force me.

But chief of Garba no too send. E dey treat me well, dey send me gift steady.

Sometimes, na wrapper. Sometimes, na suya or new bangle. People dey talk say, "Chief dey pet Princess Halima." I go just collect, no talk, dey give my maid.