Chapter 4: Palace Shadows

When I reach eight years, my mama born pikin—boy.

Na big celebration, goat dey cry, musicians dey drum, even palace cook fry puff-puff for everybody. All the wives wear new lace, dey smile as if na their own.

She happy die, because apart from main wife own pikin, na only my mama born another son for chief—dem call am Prince of Blessing.

Dem throw party wey no get end. Old women dey dance, elders dey pour blessing, chief dey smile. My mama shine pass torchlight.

At three years old, my brother become Prince of Blessing. Na big favour be that.

For compound, e turn star. Everybody dey carry am, dey pray for am. Mama walk dey float, no fit touch ground again.

From that day, mama dey float for air.

She go dey sing for morning, dey dress my brother like king. Any small thing, she go call musician make dem play drum. Her laughter dey fill house, her waka dey get bounce.

Everyday, she dey smile like flower wey dey open, carry my brother, her whole body just dey shine.

But for every smile my mama dey show, my own heart dey hide—like shadow wey no dey fit find light.

I begin dey vex for her.

Because I dey see say she don forget me. I dey wonder if na only pikin wey bring her favour she dey love. My heart dey heavy, but I no fit talk.

Because nobody for compound fit try her, na me dem dey use pour their anger.

Aunty Bisi go come my room, dey shout. "Your mama too dey form!" Her pikin go look me, hiss. For corridor, dem go block my road, push me for no reason.

One day, Aunty Bisi vex for my mama side. Next day, Fifth Princess push me enter fish pond.

The water cold, the smell strong. I dey struggle, dey try shout. People dey look, but nobody help. Water choke me, I dey fight for breath, eye dey turn. For my mind, I dey beg God, "No let me die for palace pond."

Because I no fit talk, I no fit shout for help.

My mind dey run: "So na like this person dey die?" I dey sink, dey pray for inside heart.

As I dey drown, one young man wey wear white come save me.

I feel strong hand drag me up, my chest dey pain me. I cough, water pour everywhere. The boy wipe my face with him cloth, him hand gentle.

I sabi am—na Crown Prince study mate.

Dem dey call am Fola. He get soft voice, kind eyes. People dey talk say e no dey like fight, but if e vex, nobody fit stop am.

Gentle, upright person.

Even palace elders dey respect am. E no dey like wahala, but e fit defend person wey dey right.

Him and my Crown Prince brother carry me go meet my mama.

Dem no let me waka. Fola carry me for back, Crown Prince dey hold my hand. My clothes wet, but my heart dey beat calm for first time in long time.

Mama just look me once.

She eye sharp like razor, no pity. She just check if I still dey alive, then turn face.

The way she look me na the same way she look papa that time wey e dey die.

Her face hard, heart no dey show. For her mind, e be like say if I vanish, her wahala go end.

Since Prince of Blessing born, she no send me again, just leave me dey survive on my own.

I dey move like shadow for house. Sometimes, I go hide near kitchen, dey watch mama laugh with my brother. Nobody dey notice me.

I feel say she dey regret say she allow me live.

Maybe for her heart, she think say I be threat. I begin believe say she go happy if I disappear.

Now, with money, power and chief love, na only me dey spoil her shine—princess from old kingdom.

For her eyes, I be stain for white cloth. Even as people dey hail her, na me be her bad luck.

This matter reach chief ear, na Crown Prince go report am. Chief come punish Aunty Bisi and her pikin well well.

Dem flog Aunty Bisi, dem lock her pikin for room. For palace, everybody fear, begin respect me small.

People come dey talk say Oga dey love anybody wey near am, say e cherish Princess Halima.

Dem say, "Princess Halima get luck, Oga dey pamper am." My mama dey smile for public, but I dey see envy for her eye.

My mama come happy pass before.

She dey waka like person wey win new gold. For her mind, e mean say chief dey see her, dey value her work.

She believe say chief love her die.

She dey tell her friends, "See as Oga dey treat my pikin? E mean say e dey love me well."

Love her sotey even me, wey be wahala, still dey treated like real princess.

She dey use am boast, dey pepper other wives. For market, people dey talk, "Halima mama get sense."