Chapter 2: Peace No Dey Last

Three months don pass, I don sabi this work finish.

For this job, I don know every corner, every face. The building be like my own chessboard now. Even the security jokes no dey fear me again.

Everyday I dey log into Genshin Impact, do my dailies, watch my digital daughters dance.

Even my roommates know the sound of my phone, na routine for us now. If I miss daily runs, na like say something miss for body.

As I no dey do mathematics again as career, I begin miss mathematics.

Sometimes, for night, I go dey press phone, then mind go wander to one unsolved problem, one old proof. I fit even dey smile alone.

This work get too much free time, so I begin wonder: that old research topic, e fit get answer?

Na the time wey day drag most, I dey write equation for back of old receipts. Sometimes, light go blink, I go still dey jot.

Or make I try new one—if I follow that direction, e fit progress in ten years?

The possibility dey ginger my blood small. I dey wonder, if na patience I lack, or na luck.

I dey carry paper and pen for pocket, dey jot ideas when e come. When team leader and others see am, dem dey joke:

"Dayo, you dey write again—na WAEC you dey prepare for?"

Everybody dey laugh. The kind laughter wey no bad, but e dey show say dem no understand wetin dey push me.

"But apart from game, you dey always daydream, sometimes write small. This kind, you no go pass WAEC."

"If you wan write exam, you go try harder. That year, one security guy read everyday, pass adult exam enter university."

The story of the security guy na legend here. Everybody sabi am, na the hope for those wey wan upgrade.

I just nod: "My talent no reach. No matter how I try, e no go work. I just dey write for fun."

I smile, face down, no wan explain further. Make dem just think say I be joker.

Baba Musa and the rest see say I no dey interested, dem leave me.

Sometimes, e better make people leave you with your small madness. At least, no disturbance.

But truth be say, for algebraic geometry research, for five years, no be say I no wan try hard.

I dey remember the long nights, the struggle, the tears wey nobody see. Try hard no dey always get reward for maths.

I just no know how person dey try hard for mathematics.

E be like say, if your brain jam wall, all your energy just bounce back.

Dem dey talk say, if you push person reach limit, dem fit do anything—except solve maths problem.

Everybody get breaking point, but maths no dey pity person. E go just dey look you.

Mathematics fit scatter person confidence pass anything.

E fit turn champion to ordinary person. Sometimes, e even dey humble genius.

Na after I become security I realize say, I just be normal person, brain normal—not olodo.

I begin appreciate myself small. At least, I try. Life na different for everybody.

Because I finish secondary school, for where most of my colleagues stop for primary or junior secondary, I be big man for academics.

Dem even dey call me 'Prof' sometimes, just dey play. E sweet small, but I no dey let am enter head.

Now, team leader dey make me write monthly report, even add small money to my salary.

Na small thing, but e mean say dem trust me pass some people. Progress small-small.

Make you know, since small, I no dey good for English language.

I dey write with sense, but to speak grammar—e no too flow. My teachers always shake head, say I go do better for sciences.

If no be maths competition gold medal wey I use enter university, I for no even get good school.

Na that medal be my ticket, my breakthrough. Life sometimes fit just turn with one event.

Because I dey join meeting now, weekly meetings dey go faster.

Everybody dey rush talk, but when I dey around, I dey make dem keep time. Efficiency na my strong point.

Before, meeting dey always long, everybody dey talk anyhow.

Na so gist dey start, gossip dey enter. People go dey talk about food, about politics—meeting fit last two hours.

I no wan join, but as maths person, confusion dey vex me.

I dey like order, straight to point, no long talk.

"Everybody just talk last week work, problem, and this week plan."

I dey repeat am every time, like mantra.

"No need to dey talk feeling, story or gist."

People go laugh, but dem hear me.

"If you wan share gist, after meeting we fit talk."

That one dey settle people, dem go hold am for break.

Everybody know say when Dayo dey run meeting, no room for long story—sharp sharp, we go finish.

After team leader gree with my style, meetings dey finish in 30 minutes.

Everybody happy, even the oga for office dey praise team leader. Time na money for this place.

After work, I dey go dorm, open my laptop, type my ideas for LaTeX, delete the dead ends from before.

My laptop old, but e still dey run. Na my personal world. Sometimes, I dey play small music as I dey type.

For my roommates, I just tell dem say na typing game I dey play.

I no wan make dem suspect wetin I dey do. The cover story strong.

Then, we go play Whot. Because I dey always win, Seyi dey suspect:

The way I dey shuffle card dey make dem look me twice. Seyi dey even arrange him own cards before deal.

"Dayo, you dey count cards? You too dey win."

Before I fit talk, Uche cut in: "Forget that one, Dayo dey always lose things—food card, badge, key—how e wan remember cards?"

He add: "I even dey suspect say na bad memory make Dayo no enter university, plus e dey always lost in thought. Who know wetin e dey think?"

Uche dey always yarn quick, but na true talk. I fit forget where I drop anything.

I just raise hand: "Na God hand dey shuffle my card."

Dem laugh, Seyi shake head. Whot continue. I just dey smile.

My secondary school graduate cover story dey tight, no leak anywhere.

Even if dem search my locker, dem no go see anything wey expose me.

After cards, I rush go bath, sleep straight.

The shared dorm solve my sleep wahala. Every night, I sleep deep before the snoring orchestra start.

If sleep catch me before dem start, na till morning be that.

My security life just dey go smooth—too smooth sef, happy and free.

I dey wait for wahala, but e never come. Na peace I dey enjoy.

Nobody around dey worry about life meaning, nobody dey think about existence—dem just dey live normal. This kind environment calm me.

The simplicity dey sweet me. For once, no pressure.

One normal morning, I stand post with Baba Musa.

Day dey bright, sun just dey rise. I dey hum one old Lagbaja song, Baba Musa dey stretch leg.

Suddenly, I hear one familiar female voice break my daydream.

The voice sharp, the kind wey cut through noise. E get familiar ring.

"Ifedayo? I go your school find your junior, e talk say you don graduate. Why you dey here now?"

I look up. Na person wey I sabi well—my ex-girlfriend, Zainab Bello.

Her face fine as ever, skin glow, hair tidy under scarf. Her perfume linger for air—sweet like Saturday jollof. She dey stand like person wey own the place. My heart skip.

Baba Musa dey look both of us, e dey wonder how security wey finish secondary school know this kind fine madam.

Him eye dey roll from me to her, mouth small open. Na gist wey fit last for weeks be this.

I try act calm: "You no dey late for work? Go up, we go talk later."

I try talk normal, voice steady, make she no see my small panic.

She check her watch, size me up: "Okay, I go come security room meet you for noon."

Her eye dey scan me, like say she dey read all my secrets. I nod, try hide my shakiness.

"No need, meet for cafeteria at noon. I go message you."

I try arrange the meeting where no security person go see us together. My mind dey do calculation.

As she waka go, Baba Musa no fit hold am:

He whisper close: "Who she be to you? Wetin be 'already graduate'? You don finish secondary school since na."

My brain sharp, I begin form story: "She... she be my distant cousin, na the most successful for my family."

I add small hand gesture, like say na family matter. My heart dey beat, but face dey steady.

Since Zainab dey work here, and gist dey spread fast for security office, as long as dem no think say we dey date, my colleagues no go disturb me when dey see her.

If e be like family, nobody go suspect anything. Na strategy.

Once person start to lie, e dey easy to continue. "About my school, I lie before. I no just finish secondary school."

I just dey add small to the story, voice low.

"I actually finish polytechnic, but no see job, na why I come do security. I shame, so I tell team leader say na secondary school I stop."

I even sigh, try add small emotion.

"I no fit face my family, so I tell dem say I dey office. No know say she go catch me like this."

I rub my neck, fake small worry.

If to say I get this kind lie-lie talent for secondary school, my mama for no push me enter maths competition wahala.

I even laugh small, the irony no lost on me.

I no sure if Baba Musa believe my yarns.

For face, e just nod, sigh: "No wonder you dey smart, na graduate you be."

His tone change, respect enter. The gist go soon reach everybody.

Back for break room, apart from my usual game and maths daydream, I begin think small about relationship matter.

I dey press phone, but my mind dey run old scenes. How everything scatter, how e start.

Me and Zainab do long distance for two and half years.

Na hard thing. Calls dey drop, chat dey slow. But we try.

I dey do PhD for Ibadan, she dey do finance masters for Abuja.

Different world, different circle. Sometimes, we dey talk till midnight, other days, one week pass, no talk.

Inside crowd, she dey shine like suya for night market—stand out well well.

Her laughter dey ring, her style dey unique. If you see am once, you no go forget.

Before three months, she don clear all my friends.

All my guys dey hail her, even my female friends dey take advice from her. Na woman wey sabi people.

Her social skills dey make me look like mumu for public.

She dey talk, I dey mute. E be like say I dey hide behind her shadow.

The last time we quarrel, I try explain on phone:

"Make we define the issue. Wetin we dey argue no even be the same thing."

I try break am down, step by step. But she no get patience for all my logic.

Na so, she dump me.

Sharp sharp, no long talk. I dey hear the beep, na so call end. My chest cold like freezer.

I move from rational boyfriend to rational single man.

I just dey read book, focus on my own wahala. No time for love matter.

Noon reach, rational single man meet Zainab for cafeteria, we pick seat far from security colleagues.

I carry bottle water, she order coffee. My hand dey sweat, but I try hide am.

Na our first meeting since we break up.

The air heavy, even the chairs dey squeak loud. I dey count seconds for head.

"Why you go my school find me? I think say you no wan see me again." I talk first. I always get plenty talk for her.

She no waste time, her answer sharp: "I see that news video. I come think, with that kind thing happen, wetin you, coward like you, go do? So I go find you."

The word 'coward' sting me small, but I just dey nod. She always direct, no dey hide her mouth.

For relationship, she dey always direct, me dey always shy and awkward.

She dey lead, I dey follow. But I gats defend myself today.

I sit up, no wan make her aura swallow me finish.

I adjust my chair, look her straight. This kind talk, na only her fit do.

"But you get more liver than I think. Before, I feel say you go hide for church. I underrate you."

She soft small, voice low.

"Why you end up as security? Na because of Senior Bala?" She pause, but still call the name.

She look my face, wait for answer.

I think small, then decide to talk true: "Before, yes. Now, I no sure again."

I dey look table, finger dey tap. No fit meet her eye.

She notice the mood heavy, change topic: "After that Senior Bala matter, you block all our friends."

She dey look me, eyebrow up. Old wound dey open small.

"After I find job for Ibadan, I ask your mama small. She say you still dey study, so I no expose say you don graduate."

Her tone soft small. She dey try explain her own side.

"Now wey you unblock me, you no go block me again, abi?"

She dey smile, but e no reach eye. I sabi that sign. If I joke here, wahala go land.

My back begin bend under her question, I just dey talk: "No, I no go block you."

I talk am gentle, almost like plea.

"To avoid office gist, I tell dem say you be my distant cousin. Since we go dey jam, abeg, no expose me."

I smile small, but I dey beg with eye.

She smile, lips up but eye no move. From my years of reading her face, I know say she dey vex. She confirm am:

She purse lip, then fire back: "How I go be your cousin? I be your papa!"

She pick her phone and tray, go sit far, even her back dey para.

Her body language clear, wall dey between us.

I just put head down chop. Today again, I don provoke Zainab.

My appetite vanish, I just push rice around the plate. The cafeteria noise dey far.

That night, insomnia come back. As I close eye, that falling feeling return.

The room cold, but sweat dey my face. Sleep hard pass PhD exam.

For three months now, this security life be like paradise for me.

Peace, routine, no trouble. Na heaven for my tired mind.

Zainab show, reality drag me back. Some things no dey disappear just because you dodge dem.

My mind dey race. I dey remember every mistake. Old pain dey fresh like wound.

Passion for maths research na like that, same as Senior Bala matter.

You fit run, but the shadow go follow you reach anywhere.