Chapter 3: Boredom and Emptiness

I begin do anyhow, dey try things wey I never fit do before. After all, the result no dey change; if I die, I go just land one week before.

As I wake, I tell myself—since nothing dey happen, make I taste life well. I eat anyhow, I talk anyhow, I even slap one agbero for junction, just to see wetin go happen. No be say I wicked, but I wan know my limit.

This kind life scatter my morals finish. I use the loop do all kinds of wahala, push the limit of wetin human fit do.

I test every temptation—steal meat for mama pot, copy exam for class, even dey use big grammar wey I learn from future loop. At a point, I dey feel say I be king for my own world.

But this freedom no last. Life wey no get consequence dey boring. E come be like say nothing dey sweet me again.

After the tenth time wey I chop my neighbor beans and nothing happen, the joy just die. I begin dey wish for wahala, for something wey go shock me. But na empty ground.

I dey stuck for JSS2 for one year and one month.

My body even grow taller, but my spirit dey shrink. Time dey pass for outside, but my own life just dey run on the same spot. Na only me sabi the pain.

For those 395 days, I see all the darkness wey this world fit offer, I check every bad thing wey fit enter person mind.

Sometimes, na inside this darkness you go know the kind person wey you be. I test my patience, my greed, my anger. At the end, na only emptiness remain.

Na then I understand: time fit wash away all desire and greed. For time face, human no mean anything.

If you dey see yourself repeat the same thing, all those small-small enjoyment dey lose taste. Na so I dey look mirror, dey ask—who I be? Wetin remain?