Chapter 2: Ifedayo—King of the Indoors
Picture this: Ifedayo, the proper 'indoor guy'—the type you fit call chief recluse. E don stay inside family compound sotey even the goats for compound no remember him face again. Every small thing he needs, na him mama and papa pension dey provide. No stress for anything outside at all.
Every day na the same pattern—simple food like bread and akara, sometimes indomie, then he go dey binge-watch Nollywood series, play video games, enjoy anime—everything wey make indoor guy happy.
He go wake, warm leftover moi-moi or tear small Agege bread, balance for chair with food for lap, and drown himself for TV—Nollywood marathons, Japanese anime, or FIFA for PlayStation. If the light goes off, he’ll wait it out. Sometimes you go hear him shout, “Up NEPA!” the moment the bulb flickers back. If NEPA no gree, he fit doze off till dem bring am.
Sometimes e dey even reach obsession—he fit watch the same film one hundred times, no wahala.
If you ask am about Tonto Dikeh or Odunlade Adekola film, na full breakdown you go get, like person wey dey defend PhD. He dey quote film lines like say na him dey act am. For Ifedayo, those films na him own prayer and meditation.
E never step outside compound for years. Neighbours dey gossip: 'Ah, this one no dey comot at all, abi na juju?' His mama sometimes knock on his door, shake her head, dey mutter, “This boy, na only TV you sabi?” But Ifedayo just dey his lane. To am, the compound na the world; outside no concern am. Na him own happiness be that.
Ifedayo—Nigeria’s number one indoor guy—hold record for staying home 27 years straight. If na you, you go fit stay indoors for 27 years?