Chapter 2: Summer Promises, Winter Goodbyes

The voice that had just been echoing in my mind suddenly sounded behind me. It was Noah.

“I used to think, if I just followed you, maybe you’d turn around and notice me?”

I pulled out one earbud, barely daring to believe it. “Wha... what?” My heart stuttered, hope and fear tangled together.

Noah suddenly smiled. “I said I like you. I’m scared if I don’t say it, I’ll never get another chance.”

In my ears were the noisy cicadas and the looping ‘Summertime.’ In front of me, the boy’s gentle, smiling eyes reflected only me... For a second, the whole world narrowed to just us.

One afternoon in freshman year, the sunlight was especially bright, making all those fluttering feelings show up out of nowhere. The air buzzed with possibility, every moment charged with something new.

The boy I thought I’d never see again said he liked me. It felt like the start of everything.

I can’t explain why I liked him. Just like I don’t know why he liked me. Some things just are, without reason or logic.

Maybe it was because, during freshman orientation, when I was acting as the temporary class president, I quietly stayed with him all afternoon in the nurse’s office. We barely spoke, but I remember the way his hand shook when I handed him a juice box.

Maybe it was because, when he was wrongly accused of stealing his deskmate’s wallet, I was the only one in class who stood up for him. The look of relief on his face still makes my chest ache.

Maybe it was because, when some kids from the neighboring tech school came looking for trouble, I grabbed his sleeve and ran with him through alley after alley. We were breathless and laughing, terrified and free.

Countless fragments of memory played in my mind like an old movie. The kind you watch on a rainy day, even though you know how it ends.

“But I’m about to go abroad...”

I hesitated. Even though I took the SATs, my plan to study overseas had been set for years. The future felt both thrilling and impossibly far away.

“I know. I’ll work hard. Wherever you go, I’ll come find you.”

Eighteen-year-old Noah was scared I wouldn’t believe him, so he raised his right hand and promised: “From now on, everything I do is for you, Ellie. Wherever you want to go, I’ll go with you!” His voice cracked a little, but he meant every word.

From then on, I looked forward even more to the summer wind, to Noah in summer, and even more to being Noah’s summer myself. I let myself believe in forever, just for a little while.

The day before I came back to the States, my internship office was as lively as ever. Phones ringing, keyboards clacking, someone microwaving leftovers in the break room. Life going on, oblivious to my heartbreak.

The central air hummed softly, and coworkers passing by would ask about my plans. I smiled and said I was definitely going back to Maple Heights, even if I had to work at Walmart. The joke made them laugh, but I meant it. Because Noah was always waiting for me. Or so I thought.

Back then, I didn’t know that in the summer when we were eighteen, he was already gone. Sometimes you don’t realize you’ve lost something until you’re standing in the ruins, suitcase in hand, wondering how you missed all the signs.