Chapter 4: Inside Zoe’s Final Days

Lily hugged Zoe and whispered in her ear. After that, Zoe’s face turned red.

Whatever Lily said, it made Zoe blush and giggle, hiding her face behind her hands. I grinned, glad for the distraction.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Autumn. She didn’t say anything, just wore that same fake smile, at least pretending to be happy for Zoe.

Her lips curled up, but her eyes were cold and flat. She clapped politely, but the sound was hollow. Fake.

That was the last time our dorm felt so neat and harmonious.

The room was warm and bright, full of laughter and the smell of takeout. I didn’t know it then, but that moment would never come again.

“Lily, want to go to the library together?”

I asked, hoping to rekindle our old routine.

Lily didn’t answer, but ran toward me—

She moved fast, but not toward me. I realized too late she was heading for Autumn, her eyes lighting up as she grabbed Autumn’s arm.

No, she was headed straight for Autumn.

I felt a pang of jealousy, but I tried to ignore it. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

Before this, Lily and I had been the closest.

We used to share late-night snacks, swap class notes, binge-watch Netflix until sunrise. Now she barely looked at me.

Whatever. We were just roommates, after all.

I told myself it didn’t matter, that college friendships were always shifting. But it still hurt.

I tried to comfort myself, but still felt a little lost inside.

I stared at my phone, scrolling through old photos of us, trying not to cry.

I decided to move back home.

It wasn’t a dramatic decision—just a quiet resolve. I told myself it was for my own sanity.

People always avoid trouble when they can. I was no different.

My mom always said, “If you can’t fix it, walk away.” So I did. Easier said than done.

Even about Peanut, I never asked Zoe again if she remembered a puppy like that.

I didn’t want to sound crazy. Besides, what was the point?

I planned to keep it to myself. The less trouble, the better.

I started packing up my things, folding my favorite hoodie, tucking away the memories.

I just wanted out.

Every night, I double-checked the locks, kept the lights on, and tried not to think about Autumn’s smile.

The day I went home, it suddenly started pouring. Zoe helped me carry my things to the car.

The rain was relentless, soaking through my jacket. Zoe huddled under my umbrella, shivering and laughing at the weather’s bad timing. We looked ridiculous.

“Is it because of Lily? I haven’t seen you two talk lately.”

She asked, her voice gentle, concern etched on her face.

I shook my head, then suddenly remembered something and reminded Zoe a few times.

I gave her a quick hug, told her to take care, and reminded her to call her mom more often. She rolled her eyes, but smiled.

Then I got in the car and went home.

The drive was quiet, the rain drumming on the roof like a lullaby. I watched the campus fade away in the rearview mirror, feeling both relief and regret.

The next time I heard about Zoe was in the class group chat.

My phone buzzed with notifications. The words didn’t make sense at first.

A girl’s body had been found in the pond behind the old science building. No. No way.

The words blurred on my screen. My hands shook as I scrolled through the frantic messages.

It was Zoe.

My heart stopped. No. No way. It couldn’t be her.

I didn’t believe it. It had to be a prank. I called Zoe several times, but no one answered.

Each call went to voicemail. I left rambling messages, my voice breaking. Please call me back. Please.

The weather turned from sunny to overcast, dark clouds filling the sky—just like my uneasy mood.

Nothing felt real.

That night, there was thunder and rain outside my window. The wind rustled the leaves.

Lightning flashed, illuminating my room in harsh, white light. I hugged my pillow, listening to the storm rage outside.

I didn’t know how I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was already sitting in a classroom, listening to a class I couldn’t understand.

The teacher’s voice was a muffled drone, words blending together. I looked around, disoriented.

“Zoe, Marcus is waiting for you at the back door.”

The voice came from somewhere behind me. I turned, confused.

Zoe? I knew it—so the news must be fake.

Relief flooded me. Of course, she was fine. This was all just a misunderstanding.

I looked around for Zoe, but the person who spoke was staring straight at me.

Her eyes locked onto mine, cold and unblinking. My stomach dropped.

What the—?

Wait, she called me Zoe?

I blinked, trying to make sense of it. My hands weren’t my own—they were smaller, nails perfectly manicured.

Only then did I realize something was wrong.

Panic clawed at my chest. I tried to speak, but the words stuck in my throat.

“Okay, thank you.”

The words came out in Zoe’s voice, but I hadn’t meant to say them. My lips moved on their own.

That voice came from my mouth, but I clearly hadn’t spoken!

I tried to scream, to move, but I was trapped—watching through Zoe’s eyes, powerless.

“I” quickly packed up my things, ran to Marcus, took his arm, and walked downstairs.

I watched as my—her—hands gathered up notebooks and pens, feet moving on autopilot toward Marcus. He was waiting by the door, grinning. She slipped her arm through his, and they walked out into the hallway.

I understood.

Somehow, I was inside Zoe’s body, a passenger in her life. I couldn’t control anything—just watch.

I was in Zoe’s body, but I couldn’t speak or control her actions.

It was like being trapped behind glass, pounding on the window while no one could hear. Help. Someone help.

I could only see the world through her eyes.

Colors were brighter, sounds sharper. But I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream. I was helpless.

“What’s with you again? I told you, I have nothing to do with her!”

Marcus’s voice was sharp, defensive. He glared at Zoe—at me.

This was Marcus’s fifth argument with Zoe.

I could feel Zoe’s frustration simmering beneath the surface. The words felt familiar, rehearsed.

It started because Zoe’s friend had sent her a photo. In the photo, Marcus was eating with another girl, smiling brightly and wiping her mouth.

The image flashed in my mind—a blurry photo, Marcus leaning close to a girl with dark hair, napkin in hand. It stung.

The girl’s back looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

There was something about the way she sat, the slope of her shoulders. It nagged at me.

“If you have nothing to do with her, why are you eating together? Discussing C++?”

Zoe’s voice was sharp, sarcastic. I felt her anger, raw and hot.

“You—unbelievable!”

Marcus’s face twisted in frustration. He ran a hand through his hair, jaw clenched.

Zoe laughed angrily: “Marcus, you weren’t like this before!”

Her laughter was bitter, tinged with pain. I felt her heartbreak as if it were my own. I couldn’t breathe.

He looked angry, gritted his teeth and said:

His voice was cold, final. “Let’s break up. I can’t take it anymore. Look at you now, you’ve gotten so fat!”

Right in his face.

What greeted him was a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

Zoe hurled it at him, scalding liquid splattering across his shirt. He yelped, jumping back.

Zoe ran back to the dorm in tears, took out a dusty mirror and looked at herself.

She slammed the door, collapsing onto her bed. The mirror was heavy in her hands, the glass fogged with fingerprints.

Since she’d started gaining weight, she rarely looked in the mirror. These months, she’d been dieting and exercising, but nothing worked.