Chapter 8: Block and Delete

Less than thirty minutes after e comot, Mumu send me screenshot.

Her message sharp: 'You see your Segun?' I open image, my heart drop.

Na Amaka social media post:

[Another sunny day: Just talk say I dey hungry, loving breakfast show! E be like say me and my crush don dey love for real~]

The caption dey sweet, but e dey burn my skin. Amaka fit use emoji, but the pain real.

The picture na the exact moi moi and akara wey dey my table, same nylon.

I dey zoom the picture, dey count the moi moi fold. No difference. Na Segun buy am for both of us.

I no reply.

I drop phone, take deep breath. I dey count one to ten for mind, dey pray make I no cry again.

I just wipe my tears, kneel down dey clean kunu wey Segun pour.

I dey use old wrapper, dey scrub floor. The stain dey stubborn, like pain wey no wan go.

After I scrub tire, I realize say the stain don enter carpet well well, e no gree clean.

I dey see the kunu dey soak, e dey turn brown. I dey wonder if na sign say make I throw everything away.

As anger catch me, I just carry the whole carpet throway.

I drag am go dustbin, no even care say neighbour dey look me. As I drop am, I feel small relief.

After all, na Segun and him parents buy am for me from Jos, carry am come back after one whole afternoon.

I dey remember that journey. Segun dey snap picture for park, dey shout 'Jos cold die!' Now, all memory dey end for dustbin.

As I dey, I pack everything wey Segun leave for my place, all him gifts, even our pictures, arrange all put for one bag.

I dey fold all him t-shirt, perfume, even wristband wey e dash me. I dey arrange everything like ritual, dey remove each memory with small prayer.

Na the whole day I use throw everything away.

I dey sweat, my hand dey pain, but I dey do am like say I dey clean spirit. My room dey empty small small.

He sef no go want all these things again.

I dey imagine him with Amaka, dey laugh, dey plan future. I dey tell myself, 'Let am go, Sade.'

After Segun waka that day, e no send me any message for days.

I dey count, dey check phone for habit, but nothing dey come. Silence fit loud pass noise.

I reason say e and school beauty dey enjoy.

Na their time. I no dey reason competition again. I dey face my own lane.

Or maybe e dey wait make I come beg am.

For Segun mind, na me dey always surrender. I dey promise myself, 'Not again.'

For every quarrel before, na me dey always give in, every single time.

I dey remember how I dey write apology note, dey buy snack for peace. This time, I dey stand gidigba.

But this time, I no find am.

Na so I block am everywhere. No call, no text, no visit.

And I no need to.

My peace dey important. I dey guard am like money for bank.

I block am for WhatsApp, phone, change my house code, delete all my social media.

As I press delete, I dey feel light. For Naija, once person disappear for online, wahala reduce.

After all that, I call my parents, wey dey work for another city, tell dem say I wan go my aunt place for America for summer.

I dey talk like say nothing spoil, dey arrange accent small for phone. Mama dey happy, papa dey ask question.

My plan na to go straight with Mumu register for university after summer break.

I dey plot am for head—Port Harcourt go be fresh start. No Segun, no wahala, only books and peace.

Apart from Mumu, nobody know say I apply for school for Port Harcourt.

For this Naija, secret fit save life. I dey trust Mumu, dey pray make news no leak.

This way, I fit avoid any wahala with Segun.

I dey plan route, dey arrange transport, dey avoid chance for jam.

Mummy even joke for phone:

"Ah ah, you and Segun dey travel together?"

She dey laugh, dey form play. I dey answer, dey dodge question. She sabi tease.

I just form excuse, no explain much—just say I wan see my aunt and grandma.

I dey dodge, dey act busy. I sabi say if I talk too much, mama go suspect.

I beg Daddy to book earliest flight, wan comot that night.

I dey rush pack bag, dey arrange document. My hand dey shake, but I dey sure of my plan.

As I dey go, I jam Segun mama for gate.

She dey tie wrapper, dey carry basket. She dey smile, voice sweet as ever.

She hail me:

"Sade, why you dey alone? Segun no come pick you? He no talk say una dey go South Africa ski? Enjoy yourself, aunty dey support you!"

I dey wave, dey smile fake smile. I dey wish say ground fit swallow me.

I feel somehow.

Her words dey touch my chest, but I dey pretend say all is well. For Naija, na only God dey see true feeling.

During exam period, I tell Segun say I wan go ski for South Africa, try southern hemisphere winter.

Na dream I dey form that time. I dey imagine cool snow, I no know say Segun go use cold heart repay me.

But as things be now, e no make sense to travel together.

I dey roll eye, dey tell myself, 'Story for tortoise.'

But no time, so I just smile waka.

I dey quick waka, dey thank God say Segun mama no catch my pain.

But I no expect say for airport, I go jam Segun.

As I dey drag my box, dey check-in, I sight him shadow for entrance. My heart dey race, my hand dey cold.

I dey dodge customs, dey pray make dem no ask for yellow card.