Chapter 1: House Dream, Heart Wahala

Na just after I buy house with my babe, Morayo, she shock me: "Femi, I wan break up." My leg almost fail me.

I drag breath, chest dey tight, but I no wan beg person wey don already commot for mind. After plenty wahala, I finally agreed.

I told her the house was zero down payment, and the loan go reach eighteen thousand every month—make she dey pay am herself.

This time, my girlfriend just stand there, shock no gree leave her face. Her hand dey shake, phone almost fall. Even her fake eyelash sef dey tremble.

For where she stand, even breeze sef no fit blow her. Na so e dey be when person wey dey form sharp suddenly jam stone; her mouth open, but words no fit come out. My chest dey swell small, but my heart still dey heavy, because for this life, person no dey expect betrayal from who e love pass.

1

After I finish overtime work till around 11pm, I reach house come see my girlfriend, Morayo, dey relax for sofa dey press her phone.

Even her leg dey cross anyhow, as if she no get single wahala for this life. The TV dey play Nollywood film for background, but her mind no dey there. The aroma of fried plantain still dey hang for the parlour; she just dey scroll her phone like say she dey search for gold.

As she see me enter, she just look me anyhow.

She eye me from head to toe, face like person wey catch landlord wey never pay light bill. For that moment, I just feel the tension for air, like say rain wan fall.

"You dey come back late everyday, but I never see you bring better money come house. Babe, abeg, send me 200k—I wan buy that correct designer bag wey just land."

She still dey press her phone, her voice dey complain, small vex join.

She shift her body for sofa, tap her nail for the phone screen. I notice her eyebrow don raise small. Person go think say na only her own dey important for this world.

I change to my slippers, waka go meet her, then give her the small puff-puff wey I buy for road. I smile soft soft, tell her, "But you just buy bag last month na. Once we buy the house finish, you fit buy anything wey you want."

I use my two hands package the nylon well, drop am gently for the stool near her. I dey pray say this small gesture go sweet her belly, but she just look am like say na groundnut I bring. As I talk, my voice soft, I dey try maintain peace.

"House, house, house—na only that one you sabi talk."

Morayo drop her phone, face don change, she dey para small.

She cross her hand, turn face away, like say I don dey nag her since morning. For her mind, she don tire for my house talk. I hear her hiss small, but I bone.

"My mama don ask me like hundred times: how much you don save? You sure say you fit afford this thing?"

Her tone dey carry wahala. I remember say her mama no dey like half-half answer, always dey press for details. I see as Morayo dey look me, expect make I give correct reply.

I answer her gentle, "We almost get the down payment finish. I still dey try gather the remaining small, maybe sef we fit buy bigger house."

I talk am calm, but for my mind I dey calculate all the kobo wey I don squeeze. Na so e be for Lagos hustle—every small change dey important. Even as I dey try impress her, I dey fear say all my effort go still no reach.

As I talk am, Morayo face just bright. She carry small spoon, give me one scoop of cake.

She even shift body small, make space for me for sofa. The cake sweet, e taste pass the stress of the day. For that short time, I feel hope dey again. I reason say maybe our love still dey shine small.

"For real? Babe, you too much! Make we go check houses this weekend!"

She hug my arm, her laughter loud reach kitchen. Even the way she dey look me, e resemble say na big man she marry.

I rub her head, smile. "No wahala."

As I touch her, she giggle. I feel her relax for my hand, and inside my heart, I dey pray make all this my suffer no waste. Na so I dey use small small moments like this hold body, hope say better go come.

At last, the day reach to go check house. The agent carry us go one new correct estate for Ibadan.

Sun dey shine, breeze dey gentle. The estate get big gate with security, dem plant yellow hibiscus for gate, security dey greet with "Good evening, oga!" like say I be governor. Morayo snap picture of the entrance signboard, her mama dey video everything with her phone. Everybody dey hype the place as if na paradise.

The apartment get better arrangement, sunlight full everywhere.

Even the tiles dey shine like person wey polish am with coconut oil. The kitchen get marble counter, the toilet sef dey shine like say dem never use am before. My eyes dey run everywhere, dey imagine my future.

Morayo and her mama eyes shine as them enter. Dem dey touch everything, dey praise up and down.

Her mama dey check curtain rail, Morayo dey knock wardrobe. Both of them dey talk loud, dey compare this place to their family house for Akure. Even the agent dey laugh, e happy say our body dey sweet us.

"This parlour too big o!"

Her mama voice sharp, her laughter scatter for parlour. She dey already picture family Christmas for here.

Her mama tap the wall. "We go put big sofa here, then the TV wall must fine well."

She talk am with style, even dey hint say she go call her furniture man for Ibadan. I just dey nod, dey follow the plan for my mind.

Ayo voice come from another room: "Sis, I want this south-facing bedroom!"

His voice loud, the joy clear for him face. He dey jump for mattress like small pikin. Even Morayo dey laugh for corridor.

Her mama answer sharp sharp, "Yes na, that one na your own. If you still dey here when you marry, you and your wife go use master bedroom, then your sister and her husband go use this one."

Her voice carry finality, no room for argument. I dey hear her already dey plan marriage ceremony for inside my ear. E be like say everybody don share room, forget say na me go pay mortgage.

She don plan everything finish, as if the house na their own already, just dey arrange for her pikin.

She even dey talk as if the wall colour fit change anytime she like. I just dey wonder if na me still dey the plan at all. For her mind, na family project.

I just stand one side, I dey feel like stranger.

My hands dey my pocket, I dey look dem dey laugh together, but my spirit dey ask if I fit really call this place home. Na so e dey be sometimes—when you give, some people go collect all.

After small time, her mama finally remember me, turn and ask, "Femi, this house fine well well—location dey okay, rooms plenty, our whole family fit stay here comfortable. Oya, go start the buying process before another person carry am."

She use her hand gesture make I act sharp. For her tone, you go know say she no dey joke. I swallow spit, dey form confidence.

After she talk finish, she pause small, then ask, "Femi, this place no cheap o. You sure say you no get wahala for down payment?"

Her eye dey watch my face, like say she dey measure my pocket from distance. I just dey package myself, I no wan show say the thing dey hard me.

I just form as if e dey hard me, then do like person wey make big decision, "No wahala, Mama. For Morayo sake, even if e hard, I go make am work."

I adjust my voice, put manly boldness. I see Morayo dey eye me, proud. Sometimes, you gats act pass your level make people give you respect.

Morayo just smile, playfully punch my chest.

She soft her hand, her smile wide. For that short time, she resemble that girl wey I fall in love with. Even my stress reduce, hope dey again.

"At least you still get sense."

Her mama smile too, look me like say she dey check one new property wey she wan buy. "Femi, why your clothes dey old like this? When we buy the house, abeg try buy correct cloth—no disgrace my Morayo."

She laugh, but e get undertone. For her mind, she dey warn me make I no carry 'jaga-jaga' enter her pikin new house. I just nod, my mind dey count all my faded shirts for wardrobe.

I look my faded jacket. For two years now, I never buy any new cloth, I dey save every kobo for this house matter.

My collar don tear small, but I dey patch am well. Sometimes, I go use thread repair button for office toilet. My shoes sef, na pure water I dey take clean am before I enter meeting.

To manage money, I dey chop only two akara balls for lunch. If my colleagues say make I order food, I go just smile, "Akara sweet—e dey light."

Dem no sabi say na hustle dey make me dodge their rice and stew. For office, dem dey yab me say I dey act like village boy. I go just laugh, say na fit-fam.

Any one or two thousand naira wey I save, I go transfer am enter special account. Overtime work don turn normal for me. Project bonus, overtime money—na all I dey save.

I get small notebook wey I dey use jot every kobo. I dey pray for end-of-year bonus like say na NEPA light. Every weekend, I go calculate how far I don go for my house dream.

As I see Morayo dey smile that moment, my heart just pain me.

Sometimes love dey sweet and bitter, e dey pain like pepper for fresh wound. For that night, I tell myself say all this suffer go pay. But deep down, I dey fear say I dey carry load for person wey no go follow me reach the end.

I tell myself, no matter wetin, this house go show who really dey for me.