Chapter 7: Sade’s Insults and the Next Quest

System talk say Crocodile Valley good for fish.

After some days, my wound don heal.

For the real story, mermaid princess dey locked for Crocodile Valley as hostage.

But she get villain KPIs, so she still dey cause wahala.

Second quest: Scatter the male and female lead, make their relationship move.

Three steps: first, disgrace the female lead;

Second, tell her say male lead like you, make her no comfortable;

Third, after she vex go, push her enter Baba Oke.

Wetin go happen next—heh heh heh.

System laugh like witch.

I ask, dey fear:

Wetin go happen? Sade go wound?

System no gree talk, even scold me.

Small pikin, no dey put mouth for adult matter.

Just do the three steps, no worry.

I hold tears, sniff.

Okay, I go hear bro.

Before I find Sade, na she find me.

Sade na Kun. Because she big, she dey chop steady.

As she dey chop crispy crayfish, she dey question me.

Wetin you use (chomp chomp) take confuse Crocodile Lord mind (chomp chomp), even allow you stay for Crocodile Valley spiritual spring?

Sade dey call me demoness every two minutes, insult dey increase.

You na dung beetle wey wear mask (chomp chomp)—shameless!

You dey sleep for soakaway (chomp chomp)—you dey smell like fish wey dem forget for sun, abeg shift! Your smell no get part two.

...

I sigh. Sade insult strong, pass my old anti-fans.

She tire to curse, when I no reply, she put hand for waist, frown.

You no go talk?

I blink:

Huh?

System vex.

Huh what? Just huh? Quick, curse her back! Anything she talk, return am!

I breathe deep, whisper:

R...rebound.

System vex more, pull script from panel, order me to read.

You Kuns dey big, rough, ugly. How una go compare with merfolk—fine, graceful? Of course Umaru no fit like you.

I no talk.

System: Wetin, you no sabi read? Okay, I go add Yoruba.

I shake head:

But to yab person body no good.

Why Kuns and merfolk go dey the same?

System shock.

You talk true.

Okay, I go use points skip this part.

Main thing na next two steps.

I happy: Bro, you too much! I go finish quest!

System voice cold, but end dey rise:

No dey wash me, bro no dey buy am. Do your work.

System move on. Second step: tell Sade say you like bro—cough, I mean, male lead.