Chapter 2: When Hunger Pass Fear

The only difference between my school canteen food and shit be say the canteen dey collect money for their own.

True talk, if to say dem dey give am for free, maybe I for pity dem. But to pay for insult? Na curse.

If you throw am give dog, even dog go talk say, ‘Better die than chop this kind disgrace. Make I break finish, but make I no lose my respect.’

The dog for my compound go first sniff, then waka go sidon for another compound. Na so e be.

But wetin dog no go chop, na him dem dey serve us.

Sometimes I dey look the food, dey ask God for forgiveness. Wetin we do to deserve am?

Meatballs wey na only fat dem use do am, eight hundred naira for one. You go bite am, fat go burst for your mouth, oil go splash enter eye. If you check am well, maybe na rubber dem take mould am.

Chicken leg wey don old reach my great-grandma age. If I no kneel three times before I chop am, dem go say I no dey respect elder. That chicken leg fit do sacrifice for shrine. E tough reach, if you no get faith, no near am. If you cook that chicken leg with egg, who know which pot go join great-grandma chicken with her great-great-grandpikin egg—eight generations for inside one stew.

The stew go thick with story. You fit hear ancestors dey whisper: “Na we dey here.”

Stew wey dem use pig skin do. Pig skin wey dem never wash finish. You go chew, you go feel as if you dey chop rubber slippers.

I no believe say, after I stop breastfeed for more than ten years, na for pig body I go find childhood memory.

Na so hunger dey humble person. Person wey think say e don see life, na when hunger wire am, e go sabi say life get different levels.

I no be picky person. When I small, my mama travel, my papa bring animal feed bran come house, tell me say na imported cereal.

He even put am for cornflakes packet. Me, I dey chop, dey hail myself say I don join better people. Na when my mama return, she laugh sotay, tears commot for eye.

I chop am with joy for more than half a month, no complain.

If you see the way I dey lick the spoon, you go believe say na honey nut cornflakes. Small pikin dey believe anything.

I no dey talk am to show say my papa no dey treat me like human being, but to show say my endurance pass pig own.

If to say endurance get badge, I for don collect silver medal that year. Pig no get my level.

But cucumber wey dem fry with akara, red pawpaw wey dem cook with boiled egg—those kind food, even pig no go chop am. If pig near that kind food, e go use snout push am go one side. I swear. Even pig go protest, abi? Maybe e go call animal union, shout for justice.

Before, I dey reason say maybe the canteen cook wan turn herbalist. Because the way e dey mix anything, e fit get power we no understand. Next thing, e go wear white, dey chant, dey sprinkle maggi.

Na why e dey do like person wey get wahala, dey mix anything together just to see wetin go happen. E dey test people patience. If you survive, e go greet you for corridor.

Later, I come discover say all those food na expired leftover from the food processing shop near us, na waste dem suppose throway. I hear say na one brother wey dey work for that processing shop dey supply canteen manager. Dem dey share the money.

One pot, everything join, na survival of the fittest—canteen law of the jungle. If you slow, na stone you go chop. If you smart, you fit escape with ordinary Agege bread.

How I take know?

Heh, one day I chop NAFDAC label join food. The thing stick for my teeth. I see ‘Batch 2007’ for label. That day, my eyes open.

And then, that free soup wey every canteen dey do. Soup wey dem dey call 'oga soup' because na for oga dem dey prepare am, but na we dey chop leftover.

Blackboard go write say today soup na ugu leaf and egg drop. Dem go use big chalk write am: 'Special: Ugu Egg Drop'. All of us go dey hope.

But if you bend your head check inside the pot, where e dey? You go see only hot water wey dey bubble, nothing dey inside. If you lucky, maybe one leaf go float pass.

E be like say you dey look inside dark hole. You go see only reflection of your hungry face for pot surface. You go sigh, e go pain you.

Maybe dem collect idea from instant noodle factory. Because na so the soup dey look like the water wey remain after you cook indomie, with pepper join. If you use am bath, mosquito go still bite you. One egg go pass three generations; people go finish, but egg go remain.

If dem crack one egg, na so dem go use am serve fifty people. Everybody dey get half-yolk hope.

At last, for one hidden corner, I see one small thing float—na ugu, abi? E resemble something wey cross river come, but I brave pick am, hope say e go better my soup.

I carry spoon pick am comot. My spirit dey ginger say I don win lottery. But as I look am well—na hair!

Hahahaha, na hair! Long black hair, like say canteen cook use head stir soup. I just weak.

Sometimes, I dey reason say maybe the school get reason for all this wahala. Maybe na survival training for us. To prepare us for NYSC camp, or Lagos traffic life.

Like now, if I see any foreign thing inside my veggies, I sabi wetin e be just by touch. I be real detective. With one finger, I fit tell: worm, plastic, or thread. If e soft and dey bounce, na worm. If e strong small, na wire. If you hear sound 'tin-tin', just waka commot. Your ancestors dey protect you.

One time, I bite something wey no soft, no strong—just rough and grainy. I pause, look my life. Hunger no suppose reach this level.

I spit am out, check am with my roommate. We use torchlight dey investigate, as if na CSI we dey do. Maybe na bean pod, maybe na rotten rice, or e fit be cockroach egg. Nobody sure. We just dey look am, dey shake head. If na exam, we for pass Biology practical.

Biology self-study, na chop we dey take learn. If to say dem dey give WAEC for food inspection, na our class go top. Academic spirit for here strong no be small. Hunger dey drive intelligence, na true word.

If dem born me some centuries ago, the person wey write The Insect Record for Nigeria go be my classmate. Abeg, textbook no teach pass wetin stomach teach for here.

Wetin Professor Adegoke wan find for here? Maybe e dey do research for hunger and wahala. Because for this school, na only food na dem problem.

No be say we no complain o. We gather, write petition, submit am with hope. Some people even beg senior for hostel to help talk to principal. But the canteen manager na principal person. Dem dey chop together, na why nobody fit touch am. If you talk too much, dem fit transfer your papa.

Suggestion letters dey fly enter suggestion box like harmattan leaves. Every break, people dey drop letter. Some dey write poem, some dey draw cartoon wey dey show chicken leg dey use walking stick.

As e no fit run again, principal do two things. Na strategy. As we dey reason next move, e first lock suggestion box. Na so all hope jam brick wall.

First, he put padlock for suggestion box, block road for better advice. People dey look box, dey sigh. Some dey laugh, some dey vex. Life hard for people wey get good advice.

Then, he climb podium, begin preach about how to endure suffering. On Monday assembly, e talk say na suffering build character. Say all this our wahala, na for our own good. He talk say na to suffer we come school, no be to enjoy.

Some people for back dey whisper, “Na sufferhead we pay school fees for?” Say all of us don spoil finish; when Nigeria just get independence, how many people go university dey chop only garri and groundnut?

E talk am as if e dey proud of am. Some teachers dey nod, others dey roll eye. Garri no be bad o, but no be by force!

Na only people wey fit endure go fit rise above others. People wey dey manage, na dem dey succeed—so e talk. For him mind, na wisdom, for our mind, na punishment.

We no fit fight dem, so we start to dodge dem. We get sense pass dem. Hunger dey teach street sense. We form group, dey plot escape.

We wey dey stay hostel go dey chop outside food or beg day students bring food for us. Everybody dey arrange logistics. One person go signal, another go act as look-out. Some dey use empty indomie carton hide food.

Then school drive all the vendors for gate, say na for food safety, begin search day students’ bags. If dem see food, dem go seize am.

Wahala come. Some dey use bible hide biscuit, some dey use socks tie bread. Dem catch one boy wey hide meat pie inside biology text.

We come dey chop only indomie for more than half a month. The thing tire everybody. Indomie for morning, indomie for night. If you burp, na indomie aroma.

Now, if we smell indomie, e dey make us wan vomit. If person open indomie wrapper near me, my spirit go just leave body. E don reach that level. But that night, hunger push us go where even school rule no fit reach.

Anywhere wey oppression dey, resistance go show. Na Naija spirit be that. When dem block one road, we dey create three more.

Sun dey bake everybody head, sweat dey roll for neck, hunger dey double. One night, hunger nearly finish me—my belle dey boil, my mouth bitter.

I dey roll for mattress, dey pray for deliverance. Mosquito dey bite, but hunger loud pass am.

I roll for bed, sleep no gree me. I count ceiling board, count window blind. Sleep run from me like say I owe am money.

Na goat meat pepper soup, mushrooms, jollof rice dey my mind. I dey imagine big tray of suya, ice-cold zobo. I dey salivate for dream.

I chew my pillow till spit soak am. Pillow don turn meat pie for my mind. By morning, e go get new texture.

At last, I vex—abeg, person fit die for hunger? I reason am: suffer no fit kill man, but make I no try am for my own body.

I wake my roommates ask dem, una wan starve dey alive or chop belleful die? Everybody open eye. Hunger dey shine for their face.

Turns out, nobody dey sleep. Everybody don ready for anything.

Na so we dey, dey look each other. Hunger na unifier. Nobody dey pretend.

So we plan: three go stay for dorm dey cover, three go sneak out go find food. We draw map, arrange code word. If you hear ‘mango tree’, na signal say danger dey.

Around eleven, me and two others jump fence, waka go snack street. Fence dey scratch leg, but hunger no dey fear wound. We waka like thief, but na food we dey find.

Before, vendors full everywhere, but now, all of dem don disappear. Area dry like graveyard. No smoke, no suya, nothing.

One roommate squat for empty street, dey hold nylon bag, dey sniff, say e still dey smell goat meat pepper soup, make we come try smell am. We laugh small, but eye still dey red. We dey smell memory.

Another dey look dustbin, eye dey red. E dey reason if e fit see Agege bread wey never spoil. If to say no shame, e for enter dustbin well. Even the stray cats think say we be their rivals. Cat dey eye us, dey measure who fit reach dustbin first. Hunger no get friend.

We no get choice, we waka, dey find mama put wey never close. We dey pray say maybe one aunty go pity us, give us leftover. All man dey humble.

Halfway, we jam our class teacher. Na wahala be that. E just appear from one corner, torchlight for hand. He act like Inspector Bediako, dey waka silent. E think say na game center we dey go.

E shout, “You this boys, una wan spoil my name for this school?”

E grab us, drag us enter bush, say make we run go dorm. As we dey run, na so my heart dey beat, like festival drum.

Make I explain: our school na closed system, boarders fit only go house once every month. E mean say if you miss house food, na suffer for you for long time. School dey for bush, people no too plenty. Na one dry area. If you see bicycle for road, you go hail am like big man.

Security dey everywhere, day and night. If dem catch you for game center, na expel straight. If you hear expulsion story, your body go fear. Na so dem dey use people as example.

School na like prison, principal na king. E dey sit for office, dey cross leg, dey sign expulsion letter like say e dey sign cheque.

I talk say, “Teacher, no be so. Hunger dey finish us, na food we wan find.” I use all my voice, explain. My belle even rumble, join as evidence.

Teacher shock, until my leg fail me, I sit down for ground. He look my eye, see true hunger. I know say e reason say wahala pass joke.

So teacher carry us go him house. E tell us make we low, no make noise. E say, "If anybody catch us, na him be wahala." We nod sharp.

Him wife never sleep, dey cook indomie for am as night food. She fine, dey tie wrapper, dey arrange pot. She look us, smile small: “Na hunger dey worry una?”

Teacher signal us make we chop. Him use hand gesture, like say we dey secret meeting. Na so we rush am.

No joke, one bowl of noodles vanish for three seconds. If Guinness Book of Record dey, we for enter. Noodles rush enter, hot soup just pass my throat. Na like when you dey drink hot ogi, your body dey shake, but you no dey complain. Throat no even react, my belle vex, send am back up, my brain say, ‘swallow am!’

I nearly choke, but my pride no let me drop spoon. Hunger na strong thing.

Teacher just remove coat, dey tell us to slow down. He laugh, talk say, "Una go wound una sef o. E remain small, una for chop spoon join."

Before e finish talk, food don finish. Three eyes dey look teacher wife like say we wan beg. Our eye dey shine, like pikin wey see Christmas chicken. She just shake head, dey pity us.

She just laugh, enter kitchen, on stove. Na so she open pot, bring another round. We dey shine teeth, dey thank her. She bring another plate, we clear am.

The aroma of pepper and onions fill the small kitchen, make all of us swallow spit. This time, we take am easy small, but food still disappear quick. Spoons and plates dey make noise, everywhere clean—no need to wash plate. If you see am, you go think say dem use new plate. Hunger na cleaner.

Halfway, teacher roll sleeve, join wife for kitchen. E dey help break indomie block, dey talk say, “Una be strong people, hunger no go kill una for my hand.”

Last last, we chop till belle round. Everybody dey rub belle, dey smile. For one night, hunger lose battle.

Teacher wipe sweat, dey breathe hard: “Una sure say una no poor like this? Where your feeding money dey? Talk true.”

He dey reason if dem cut our allowance. E look us like say he wan see lie for our face. I wave hand, slap my meal card for table—no money comot. Everybody flash meal card, all of dem blank like empty wallet.

No be say we dey form picky, na canteen food no fit human being. Teacher dey nod, dey understand. E no even blame us.

Lymph node meat fry with rotten pepper, spoilt cabbage cook with soggy noodles, even the rice half done. I describe am well. Teacher dey frown, him wife dey sigh. E pain dem. Teacher dey frown as e dey hear. E dey imagine say him own pikin fit dey pass through same wahala. He talk say e know say canteen bad, but e no know say e bad reach like this. He shake head, dey reason wetin e go fit do. E face soft small.

I talk say, this one we still better. Other students dey see correct food only once in a month, when dem go house. Teacher just shake head, sigh. Him eye dey red, e no get words.

Before we go, teacher wife package food for us, tell us to hide well, make security and dorm master no catch us. She even use black nylon double-wrap am, add small tissue for side, whisper: “God dey, abeg hide am well.”

I nearly cry for happiness. I dey hold am like trophy. If you see as my hand dey tremble, you go know say joy dey my bone.

Next day, after morning reading, during break. Hunger still dey, but spirit dey high. All of us dey watch clock, dey wait miracle. Teacher just show, tell everybody to stay classroom, close curtain, lock doors. He act like Inspector Bediako, dey waka silent. We dey reason, e get wahala? But as e open bag, everybody eye light up.

Then, like magic, he bring out backpack. If you see the bag, you go think say na Santa Claus. The aroma wey escape na correct!

As he open am, meat smell fill the air. Everybody swallow spit at once. For my mind, I dey pray say no be dream.

Backpack full of meat pies! Na real meat pie o! Correct one. Not those wey get only carrot for inside.

Whole class shout! Na only wall stop our voice. Girls dey jump, boys dey hail.

Teacher rush shush us, say make we no let oga for school hear. He press finger for mouth, do “shhhh”. Everybody freeze, dey whisper, “Thank you, sir!”

Sixty meat pies, thirty students—two each. We dey count, dey share, nobody wan cheat. Na respect, na gratitude.

Hot, juicy, dough dey soft, bite am, fresh stew just dey go down throat—sweet reach to lick finger! E no get rival. You go chop, eye go close. For that moment, nothing matter.

Nobody talk. Na silent celebration. If you hear any sound, na only munching. Everybody dey chop with respect, like say na big thing.

Na so. We dey act like people wey dey observe sacred ritual. Even the air dey quiet.

Teacher lean for table, dey smile dey watch us, eye full of love. E dey proud. E dey see hope for our eye.

After that, teacher dey bring food for us every few days. E dey arrange with wife, sometimes e go smuggle puff-puff, other times na moi moi. E dey risk everything.

Many times, after night prep, we go close curtain, push desk together, chop the hot food teacher bring. We dey form family. Everybody dey guard secret. Teacher fit smile, sometimes join us chop one small.

After, we go clean everywhere, carry trash go throw for different dustbins for school. We dey use strategy, so nobody go suspect. If dem see us, we dey talk say we dey study group.

Whole class dey keep this secret, everybody dey understand. Even people wey no too sabi book dey form loyal. Na food unite us pass anything.

Teacher dey talk say we dey cute when we dey chop, like sparrows dey make noise. E go laugh, say, “See as una dey pick food like baby bird. Na so.”

We talk say we wan pay teacher, no fit dey let am dey spend him own money. We dey beg, but e no gree. E say, “Book first, food na bonus.” Teacher wave hand: “Na small food. If una fit do well for book, na my reward be that.”

That word touch us. Some people swear say dem go top class because of am.

But wall no dey wey breeze no fit pass. For Naija, secret na like generator sound—e go still leak.

That useless canteen manager still hear. Maybe na jealous student wey no get meat pie leak am, or na cleaner wey see us throw nylon for dustbin.

That afternoon, teacher late. Everybody dey restless. We dey whisper, dey check time, dey reason if wahala burst. He tell us for morning say he go bring food, make we wait for classroom. Some dey hope say maybe e go bring jollof rice this time. Hope dey high.

But twenty minutes pass, we no see am. My mind dey race. My heart dey beat kpokpo. I come go find am.

I waka pass staff room, check kitchen side. My spirit dey shake. After I waka small, I see am for school gate.

E dey stand under hot sun, e no talk. If you see am, you go pity. Under hot sun, he just dey bow head. Sweat full him face, shirt dey soak. E dey humble for ground, but pride still dey body.

That canteen manager stand for front, dey look am like say he be nothing, dey shout, spit dey fly. As the man dey talk, all the junior staff dey look away. Nobody wan offend am.

My teacher don almost reach fifty, yet that fat man dey disgrace am like small pikin. Na shame. People dey pass, nobody fit talk.

My anger just burst. I dey reason say, why good person go suffer for nothing?

As I reach near, I hear that fat man dey shout: “I never see this kind useless class teacher before. Instead of book, na food you dey find for students. If wahala happen, you fit bear am?”

The man spit dey fly reach ground. Him stomach dey shake as e talk.

Teacher just dey beg: “The children dey grow, hunger dey worry dem. If dem no chop well, how dem go fit read?” Teacher voice dey low. E dey try show respect, dey hold him dignity. He still dey try give that fat man respect, no even mention say na canteen fault. E no wan disgrace anybody, e just dey beg for our sake.

But the man just dey run mouth: “If dem dey hungry, make dem come canteen. Wetin concern you? You be class teacher or cook?” E laugh, do hand like chef. People for back dey snicker.

Teacher wife come, try beg: “Abeg, we know say we no do well, but food don ready, abeg let dem chop this one last time. We no go do am again.” She dey almost kneel. Tears dey her eye. I feel am for my chest.

“Chop wetin?” Fat man shout, e dey vibrate. People dey stop, dey look. That man collect the bag from teacher wife, throw am for ground. Hot stew splash for sand, aroma just die for air. My chest twist. E fling am like say e be evil spirit. Food wey hot, now dey scatter for sand. Milk pour everywhere, food wey dem suffer cook don enter dust. Milk dey run for gutter. For my mind, I wan cry.

Teacher wife cry out, dey try pick am. She use wrapper dey wipe tear, still dey pick up the food, dey beg. But that man use leg scatter the food, press am for ground: “Make una chop, make una chop, chop shit!” E match am, dey show power. Everybody for gate dey silent. Even security dey look away.

Teacher freeze small, then voice dey shake: “You dey do too much. Na only food the children want.” E voice soft, but pain dey inside. I feel am for my bone.

Fat man just dey show himself: “And so?” E spread hand, dey pose like say e win trophy. As he talk, he kick orange commot. Orange roll go gutter. E just dey misbehave.

“Thunder fire you!” I rush go punch am, but teacher hold me. My anger no get brake. I shout, run, teacher hold my arm tight, whisper: “No add wahala.”

“Idiot! Apologize to my teacher!” My voice loud, but teacher wife dey block me, dey beg me. I dey struggle, but teacher and wife hold me tight. I dey try break free, but dem hold me well. I dey shake, I dey cry.

Fat man dey laugh: “Na this kind pikin you dey teach? See as teacher, see student. Like father, like son!” E dey mock us. People dey laugh, but dem no fit look me eye.

I point am, shout: “If you bark like dog again, I go scatter your teeth!” I mean am. For my mind, if no be respect, na fight go burst.

Fat man vex, waka come near, dey threaten: “Talk am again?” E spit for ground. I dey ready. If dem allow me, I go throw first punch.

I wan talk, but teacher wife cover my mouth, drag me go. She hug me, dey cry. She dey whisper, “Abeg, no die for here.”

Teacher dey beg: “Na small pikin, abeg no vex.” He dey block me, dey reason say make wahala no spoil everything.

Fat man point finger for teacher nose: “Comot from here!” He dey threaten, but teacher just hold my shoulder, dey guide me go.

I vex, tell teacher wife: “Leave me! Today I go break that man teeth!” My voice dey shake. I dey sweat. But she still dey hold me, dey beg.

She talk: “Na principal dey back am. We no fit fight am.” She dey reason long-term. For her mind, she dey protect us all.

I talk: “Even if we no fit, we go just dey chop insult?” My chest dey rise, my eye red. I dey ready for anything.

She sigh: “Your teacher go soon retire. You wan make wahala meet am now?” Her eye dey water. I see as she dey beg from her heart.

I shock. I no know say teacher dey near retirement. Na my heart cool small.

She add: “You go be senior next term. Read well, enter better university. Na your teacher prayer be that. I know say you be good pikin. Abeg, life still long—sometimes, e good to calm down.”

She pat my back, her voice soft. I feel old woman strength for her hand. As I look her tired face, my eye wan tear.

I swallow spit, rub eye. Shame and anger dey mix for my mind. She dey right. We don already drag teacher for this matter, I no fit add more trouble. If I spoil things now, who e go help?

So, if I wan do anything, e go be for my own name. No wahala. If fight dey, na me go carry am. I ready.

My mind don strong. If wahala go blow, na me and my classmates go handle am. I tell teacher wife: “I hear you, I dey go back now.”

I no argue again. I just waka, my back straight. My chest dey heavy. She watch me go back classroom. She dey wave small, dey pray for my head.

Fifteen minutes later, as I sure say she don comot, I stand up go canteen. My mind dey race, I dey bite my tongue. E be like say my chest go burst.

As I stand, my whole class stand too! I look back, see everybody. From best student to last, all of them dey up. No be tribe, no be grade, na hunger unite us.

I shock: “Wetin una dey do?” I dey fear say dem wan report me. But class captain just dey smile.

Class captain smile: “I see everything. Teacher suffer because of us. If we go fight back, we no go leave you alone!” E pat my back, dey nod. Others dey clap small. My mind sweet.

Everybody nod: “Na true!” Boys and girls, even people wey never talk for class, dey ready. For hunger matter, we be one.

That moment, my blood hot like generator wey no get diesel. I feel say I fit carry generator for head. Spirit dey high. Pride full my body, anger dey burn.

I dey reason say if Naija no gree us chop, na we go gree ourself. Wetin be all this!

If suffer wan come, make e come with full chest. If wahala go happen, make e happen well—I no dey fear!

If na fight for better food, I dey present. I raise my hand shout: “Scatter that useless canteen!”

My voice thunder, everybody echo. We dey ready. Hunger no go win again. Everybody answer: “Scatter that useless canteen!”

For that moment, na real unity, na real Naija stubbornness. E no get anybody wey fit fear again. If wahala dey, na all of us dey carry am for head! This time, na our voice go loud pass hunger. Make dem try us!