Chapter 2: Restaurant Levels and Office Secrets

After New Year finish, we return work, na so oga give everybody ₦50,000 cash envelope to start the year. Oga hand dey heavy as e share envelope—money dey smell fresh, people dey dance azonto for corridor. This cash no be small thing—Naija January dey long like railway. Oga even pray for us small: "Make this year bring more breakthrough for una family." For that moment, all of us be one big family.

Everybody agree say make we go chop better food celebrate.

You know how e dey be—salary land, bonus land, the air dey sweet. Everybody dey reason food wey go make belly thank you. For Lagos, food na way to start year well.

Morayo for our team carry phone, wan book that restaurant wey dey opposite company. She dey scroll phone, dey dodge WhatsApp group, dey shout, “If we reach there late, na hold-up go finish us!”

Morayo na sharp babe, always quick to arrange things. She dey swipe phone with speed, voice dey like person wey dey run market list for mama. Girls wey sabi, dem no dey dull where enjoyment dey.

Tunde just wave hand like boss:

“That place too low, abeg. All of us collect ₦50,000, why we no fit go somewhere wey beta? Make we go Palm Grove Seafood, I go book private room.”

Tunde na guy wey dey always aim higher. As e talk, some people dey reason the gap between 'chop beta' and 'pocket dry'. But e sure say e wan impress, na so e drop the suggestion like presidential decree.

I shock—Palm Grove Seafood na the most expensive place for town. If you no spend at least ₦20,000 per person, forget am.

Everybody eye open, dem dey whisper for corner. Some dey google menu on phone, dey press calculator under table. For Lagos, if bill high, wahala fit land.

As expected, some of the young guys quietly dey ask if e no too cost, say e too much.

You go hear small voice for background: "Guy, abeg, na our January allowance be this o." For Naija, nobody wan carry last or fall hand for public.

Tunde just hiss:

“Na group dinner we dey do and na to split bill. Nobody dey force you to treat, yet una dey fear to chop better food? Na why some people no dey ever make am for life.”

Na so e dey talk, chin up like local government chairman. As e dey drop that shade, some people just dey nod head, others dey hide face. But for Lagos, pride dey, pocket still dey count.

All of us just be fresh graduates, everybody dey reason face.

The tension tight, people dey use fork play with paper on desk. For Naija, fresh graduate life no easy—pressure dey to belong, but sapa dey outside.

Nobody talk again, so na so we settle for Palm Grove Seafood.

That silence just long, like NEPA take light. Even Morayo just put phone down, no argue. Before we know am, we don agree.

Table time, everybody dey enjoy.

Big plates, cold drinks, the place dey shine. Waiter dey waka like parade, the food smell na die. Some people dey snap picture for WhatsApp status.

Before New Year, work nearly finish us, some people wey dey stay far even no fit go village.

If you know Lagos well, you go sabi say traffic na wahala. Some people chop all their leave inside bus. The few wey try go village, come back lean like biro.

Me sef reason say I go pay for this food, but I no talk am—wan surprise them when bill reach.

For my mind, I dey do small calculation. E no too pain me to treat them, make I run surprise. For Naija, to treat sometimes na way to show love.

After some bottles, Tunde don high.

The guy eye don red, laughter dey loud. You know say, once Naija guy high, truth go begin leak.

He knack table, begin dey show himself:

“Since I small, I never let woman pay before. Since I join una, I don see everything—every meal na to split. Guys dey chop and drink anyhow, girls no fit chop reach us. E make sense to make dem pay same amount?”

Na the kind talk wey dey make everybody pause, some dey sip drink, dey wait for wahala. Tunde dey raise voice, dey gesture like MC for wedding.

The youngest, Farouk, talk:

“When we dey split with girls, we dey remove alcohol first, then share the rest.”

Farouk na sharp guy, but still dey learn street. E dey try balance fairness, but dem go always press am.

“Still no make sense. If you be man, you suppose dey treat. You no fit even treat babe chop—no wonder you never get babe.”

That one loud, laughter for table but you go know say e get as e be. For Naija, if dem drag you like this for public, na real embarrassment.