Chapter 4: Bill Landing and True Colours

For my mind, I just dey curse—this guy wan play hero till the end.

For Lagos, we sabi this kind forming—e dey tire person. I dey reason whether to burst am or just lock up.

Farouk first protest.

“Brother Tunde, abeg, no spoil the rule. We dey always split bill.”

Farouk voice small but sure. The rest dey wait, dey see whether Tunde go hear word.

Tunde just knock glass for table, point Farouk nose:

“Abeg, stop dey yarn dust. Just talk—fit you pay or you no fit? Fit you?”

You know say for Naija, once person don point nose, e don dey near fight. Some people dey shift chair small. Farouk just lock mouth, dey try hide embarrassment.

Farouk face just red. I look am, he just raise brow, keep quiet.

For office setting, e hard to see young guy fight back. Farouk just swallow am, dey hold himself.

I look the food for table, calculate—catfish pepper soup dey hot, jollof rice dey red, plantain dey call person name.

Table full, bottle scatter everywhere. The more I look, the more e dey pain me say dem wan run bill for head.

We don finish like four, five bottles red wine. This meal no less than ₦500,000.

Everybody dey do calculation for mind. Some dey count how much remain for account. January never finish, but money don nearly finish.

Six guys, eight girls. Each guy own ₦50,000 cash envelope no go reach.

If to say we dey do arithmetics, some people for fail. Guy, e tight!

Men no happy, but Tunde force dem, dem just bow head keep quiet.

Na so e be for Naija sometimes. To argue pass that level na to disgrace yourself.

If you no split, you go look stingy; if you split, your pocket go bleed.

Wahala for who no get.

Tunde just wan dey form for babes—dey use other people money shine.

If na street, dem for don shout am. But for here, all of us dey maintain.

No shame at all.

For Naija, shame dey important, but some people no dey reason am.

But as team big brother, I no wan disgrace am for public.

In my mind, if I disgrace am, people fit think say I too dey carry matter for head.

So I tap am again:

“You sure say you never over drink?”

Na my way to beg am, give am chance to step down.